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advice on how to support yourself

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arouraborealis

New member
Joined
May 2, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Missouri
hello! this is my first post here. i think this is the correct forum to post on.


i have depression like everyone else here and usually i’m able to get through it with support from my therapist. this time isn’t much different, but now that i’m older and struggling i find it harder to get through as i’m now in my hometown surrounded by my adopted/chosen family. i expected support from them without considering their own struggles, which is selfish on my part i believe.

i struggle to open up until it’s apparent i can’t handle an issue on by my self, due to insecurities. this time i knew it would be more difficult for me to support myself because i can only afford to see my therapist twice a month. so i spoke with my family about starting medication again but i also explained how i usually experience suicidal ideation and thoughts. i explained why this happens and the science behind everything to ease their worries and that it can last from a few weeks to a couple months. this happens with every medication. usually i start to experience these intrusive thoughts 2-3 weeks after i start medication. once i level out the reward of having more energy and more genuine positivity is worth the difficult time before it.

the “issue” i guess is even though i opened up and prepared them that there’s a high possibility of these feelings and it would be harder for me to reach out should i need it, my chosen family has done nothing to show external support. the reason i’m quite upset is that these intrusive thoughts have begun, but because i was prepared my therapist and i have made protocols and what not for me. i made the decision to start medication with the understanding that it may be easier with support from them because they agreed to do so.

i would just like some advice on how to further help myself because i don’t currently have to energy or confidence to speak with my family again. i’m hurt, but i’m not angry with them anymore. i acknowledge that i am an adult and in charge of my own feelings and what not plus they have a family business they have to manage. i understand.

my therapist recommended trying an online forum to get support from those going through similar experiences.

i think i made this post too long, but i feel i can receive the best advice if there’s a bit of background information. please don’t worry, i’m not wanting to hurt myself. i just want advice/tips on how to provide myself with support until my emotions and brain chemicals even out.

thank you ♡
 
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WhatSarahSaid

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2020
Messages
147
Location
New York
There's a chance that they don't realize that they're not supporting you, or that they don't know how to support you. That's unfortunate because I'm sure it's harder for you to reach out right now, and the fact that it doesn't feel like they're there for you is harder because of that. Would it be easier to reach out to them if you wrote them a note maybe? Maybe explaining how they could make you feel less alone? I'm sorry you're having trouble :hug:
 
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arouraborealis

New member
Joined
May 2, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Missouri
i think you’re right. i’ve been mulling the thought over because compared to my chosen family i prefer a form of emotional support that they’re not used to giving. my sister brought me an extra pizza today, which was nice. i think that was her olive branch. i guess they’re either unable to or don’t know how provide the type of support i need because we’ve discussed my mental health multiple times and each time i feel i waste my breath. i think it makes them uncomfortable maybe.

thank you for your advice. once i feel i have the energy to do so, i might try again. i want to give the benefit of doubt.
 
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