- Dec 6, 2018
Hi everyone, I don't think this is strictly a BPD issue, but I'm sure his anxiety/paranoia/etc are adding fuel to the fire. Whenever my hubby is home I can't really do anything without him, for more than a short period of time, or he gets offended (& offended can quickly go from being a little hurt to full blown angry) If I'm cleaning the house after 15-20 I hear "pay attention to me!" Which I would think is cute if I could at some point go back 2 cleaning, but he gets upset if I try, like im cleaning so I can ignore him. I'm trying to find a job, something he's frequently upset that I don't have. If I'm going to fill out applications i'll warn him:"hey I'm going to do some job hunting, so I won't be able to hang out for a bit, & will want to put somthing on hulu that we've already watched so I'm not distracted". He'll acknowledge what I've said & then will eigther spend the entire time trying to show me funny meme's & interesting articles on his phone every few minutes (the only place for our computer is in the living room where he's going to be sitting), or he'll ask if I want to watch : list of movies & TV shows we haven't seen b4, but want to. I'll repeatedly remind him of what i'm doing, sometimes he'll catch himself mid-meme, but it won't stop him from showing me more a few minutes later. If I'm then stern, or upset with him he seems to feel rejected. When i was trying to take online classes last year, I had to just let him feel rejected, which turned into him yelling at me about "me ignoring him" while I was in the middle of classwork. We're both very affectionate people, if i'm not busy i'm always happy to pay attention to him; but this has gotten out of control. If he's home I basically can't get anything done (After 10 min of typing this post I hear "pay attention to me!" & spend 20 min snuggling with him, & I'd spent the hour b4 this snuggling with him. I love him, it's never a chore to snuggle, or spend time with him, but I need to be able to get things done.) i've tried to talk to him about it when he's in a good mood. He see's where it's a problem but has no idea what to do about it. Any thoughts? Sorry this got so long.