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Advice on helping family member



New member
Jan 28, 2019

I'm new to the forum and came here looking for advice on how to help my brother.

He's suffered from depression in the past few years however he's now doing well with the help of counselling and medication. However I'm concerned about his routine and day to day life which has been ongoing for a few months now.

He doesn't have a job, he works from home (parents house) and helps my dad out, so an average day would be waking up about 2pm, getting out of bed/leaving room at 5pm, and going back to bed around 6am. He rarely leaves the house, only when he needs to, despite having a car, and doesn't do any exercise, which I think is affecting his back and he's developed a persistent cough.

Otherwise seems content and positive, gets stuck into work when it's asked of him and socialises with family.

I think he just needs pushing more and for my parents to ask more of him, they don't seem to be forceful enough and maybe are scared of being too hard on him?

Thank you, any advice is very much appreciated

eccentric Jon

Jan 29, 2019
Sounds like he's doing ok, maybe he just needs a bit of encouragement, perhaps suggest an activity for him to do that he finds enjoyable something that makes him want to get up and be active, a hobby of some kind or walking, something positive that gives him exercise without it seeming like a work out.


Well-known member
Dec 17, 2018
California, US
It certainly sounds like bunkering. We depressives prefer environments we're familiar with and social encounters that are predictable. Its taken me time and effort to retain my brain not to flash the red siren at every novel encounter.

Encouraging may be a more fruitful effort than pushing him. I like @eccentric Jon 's suggestions. The ability and desire to leave his zone of comfort and control rests on confidence and curiosity. Confidence is built in small steps by facing challenges and building a sense of mastery and competence.
Curiosity is a powerful motivator, sometimes stronger than fear. What interests him out here in the world that he might chance leaving home for? Especially, perhaps, if you were to go with him.