• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Advice needed!

F

Frances92

New member
Joined
Oct 9, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Australia
Hi there! I was disgnosed with OCD at age 6 and after 20 years of experiencing OCD my disorder has become so invasive I’m finally getting treatment for my disorder.

Despite being tormented by obsessions and compulsions, I’ve managed to complete a uni degree, commence work as a teacher, make lifelong friendships, fall in love and move out of home with my boyfriend.

I’ve always been able to function with my obsessions and compulsions, however, for the last few months my OCD has been telling me that if I stay with my partner and have his children bad things will happen to strangers because of me. This is probably the most distressing thought I’ve had as my partner and having kids is VERY important to me.

Reason and logic has not helped with ridding myself of this obsession. I’ve had people in my life and my psychologist list the many reasons that this is not factual. I myself KNOW it isn’t factual. But I’m consumed by the thought to the point that I can’t think of anything else and I’m constantly filled with dread and guilt that I am causing innocent people to drop dead everyday just by being happy.

I’m struggling because I could always challenge other thoughts ie. if you eat that bread your mum will die. I could perform ERP and eat the bread (resist compulsion) and then when my Mum didn’t die, I’d know that I my thoughts and actions didn’t cause something to happen.

How do I tackle this obsession when the ERP is basically just sitting with the guilt and anxiety associated with feeling like I’m causing bad things to happen by being in this incredibly loving and amazing relationship!

I’m so terrified I will get to the point that the guilt and uncertainty is too much and I leave him because being single would be easier and I would no longer have to question if I am a bad person causing bad things or not. This is the last thing I want to happen but I just don’t know how to shift my thinking.

Help!
 
S

Summerof76

Active member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
27
Location
Wales, UK
Hi Frances92,

Have you heard of Mindfulness? If so, have you tried it?

If not, in brief, it's a strategy of 'living in the moment'. Employing your 5 senses to ground yourself in the time and space you physically exist in, rather than the foreboding in your mental state of self.
In practice, it's about distracting yourself from the anxiety of 'What if's' and focusing on the 'What are's'. You recognise the anxious thoughts and interrupt them; take time away from what you're doing and focus on your senses.

Sight: what can you see? Mentally describe it, e.g. I can see my green, cotton curtains, which are closed; my black cat, Elbs, sitting underneath them next to the heater.
Hearing: what can you hear? e.g. the rain banging against my front window (terrible weather outside at the moment!); the gently hum of my son's music from upstairs.
Smell: what can you smell? e.g. incense stick- Lilly of the Valley- and tobacco from the roll-up, I've just had.
Taste: what can you taste? e.g. coffee.
Touch: what can you feel on my skin? e.g. my fluffy, fleece pyjamas.

If I've learned anything with my own anxiety, it's that I can explain it and analyse causes for it until the cows come home, but it doesn't actually change the state of it. It still exists and thrives.
Now I'm moving on. I know why it exists- have diaries full of logical causes and blameful childhood stories- and while knowledge is power, there comes a time when you have to learn how to kill it. Mindfulness is a pretty good start.

All the best.

Summer
 
W

Worriedyin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
66
Location
Scotland
H
Hi there! I was disgnosed with OCD at age 6 and after 20 years of experiencing OCD my disorder has become so invasive I’m finally getting treatment for my disorder.

Despite being tormented by obsessions and compulsions, I’ve managed to complete a uni degree, commence work as a teacher, make lifelong friendships, fall in love and move out of home with my boyfriend.

I’ve always been able to function with my obsessions and compulsions, however, for the last few months my OCD has been telling me that if I stay with my partner and have his children bad things will happen to strangers because of me. This is probably the most distressing thought I’ve had as my partner and having kids is VERY important to me.

Reason and logic has not helped with ridding myself of this obsession. I’ve had people in my life and my psychologist list the many reasons that this is not factual. I myself KNOW it isn’t factual. But I’m consumed by the thought to the point that I can’t think of anything else and I’m constantly filled with dread and guilt that I am causing innocent people to drop dead everyday just by being happy.

I’m struggling because I could always challenge other thoughts ie. if you eat that bread your mum will die. I could perform ERP and eat the bread (resist compulsion) and then when my Mum didn’t die, I’d know that I my thoughts and actions didn’t cause something to happen.

How do I tackle this obsession when the ERP is basically just sitting with the guilt and anxiety associated with feeling like I’m causing bad things to happen by being in this incredibly loving and amazing relationship!

I’m so terrified I will get to the point that the guilt and uncertainty is too much and I leave him because being single would be easier and I would no longer have to question if I am a bad person causing bad things or not. This is the last thing I want to happen but I just don’t know how to shift my thinking.

Help!
Hi Frances92,

Wow, I really feel for you. It must be so hard dealing with those kind of thoughts!

I really don't have any suggestions for you but just wanted to say that it sounds like you're challenging your thinking pattern already and will succeed in defeating it.

I hope you have a happy life and all the best with everything.
 
Top