I can only suggest that you have someone you can really talk to who knows you and can help you with insight whilst you get through it. Mixed episodes are very dangerous as this high can release the inhibitions to the impulses of the depression. Have you had any experience with dealing with the highs before? its them which might need addressing first.
I know, people think it will be the depression, but being manic can exhaust you and spiral you downwards more, that is why I suggest they are the first port of call. I would also look into what may have triggered this. There is usually a trigger, its just our reaction to triggers sometimes feels as though we have no brakes on them.
I was taught something called Chain Analysis, whereby you find that trigger, no matter how small it might seem, and link back to the very immediate thoughts and feeling it gave you and then back to what that experience throws up, feel and think about that one, and where does that take you next. Keep the steps small and see if you can find the root cause. I usually find knowing what that trigger relates to helps me deal with the emotion. Just an idea, it might not be for you.
As explained in another thread, I have tried many drugs. Unfortunately they don't help much and I am very sensitive to side effects. Antidepressants don't help my depression, but do bounce me into mania. Mood stabilisers, lithium and depakote, had such a devastating effect on me that I was unable to go out at all for nine months. I had rapid weight gain, urinary problems, incontinence, bowel problems, difficulties with memory and cognition, severe tremors, then my hair fell out. Plus about 20 "minor" side effects, all at once. Then antipsychotics (which do help my psychotic symptoms) caused tardive dyskinesia and possibly heart problems, and worsened diabetes.
Can you blame me for trying to manage without drugs?
Calypso, I have had both mania and mixed episodes before, though I mostly am depressed and psychotic. Unfortunately with any element of mania I don't seem to have any control. I agree it is a dangerous time. I have some support, but no one seems to have much idea what to do without drugs. I recently started one-to-one art therapy, the therapist is very good, and it is quite amazing, it is one little area of hope.
I do know what the triggers are (don't always but do this time).
The mania part has already done a lot of damage and I am back in the suicidal pit. There is no control. There are no breaks.
Just want to say I read your piece on Suicidal Crisis and it is very,good. I am sure it will help a lot of,people.
I navigated a two month mania without ap's earlier this year. I did it through managing my dark/light exposure. I also relied on zopiclone twice a week. I got through it and it came to an end. I was reluctant to get stuck on something that would give me side effects and spoil some of the benefits of mania. Managed mania that is. It meant that a lot of people did get annoyed with me and i did behave badly in public a few times. I couldn't drive either because i knew i was dangerous on the road. I didn't go out that much but occupied myself with hobbies.
Darkess is the best way for mania/mixed mania. Be careful with music and caffeine. Silence and darkness after 11am is what i did. Reduce sugar intake. No stress. Stop pottering from 8pm even though that is hard i know.
I noticed that you are not taking anything? I was taking a low dose of a mood stabiliser but didn't want to add an ap. If i were taking nothing whatsoever, i would have been admitted eventually. Without medication, it takes me approximately one year to get to the point where i cannot lift my head off my pillow.
I had many problems with side effects and still do to this day. I am going through a few currently: dizziness, tellogen effluvium and blurred vision. This is the best medication so far though in terms of side effects. I have sacrificed some stability for vanity as i did not want to be overweight. My current mood stabiliser has caused weight loss but i have other side effects. Weight gain is a major concern of mine though.
I don't know how you are going to manage but i am interested to see how you go and wish you all the best with it.