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Advice for over-coming Real Event OCD?

R

Rory321

Member
Joined
Feb 24, 2020
Messages
11
Location
London
Hey guys. I've suffered from OCD for about 6 years. This year I have finally accepted that I needed help and I managed to go through a 6 week course of therapy through my doctor. I have come to the realisaiton, however, that I really need more advice/guidance/techniques for overcoming Real Event OCD. For years I thought I was a terrible person and as soon as I started reading up on Real Event OCD I realised there was a name for it, and other people like me.

I have accepted that I need to stop analysing the event itself, and that the OCD is the problem - but I'm at a loss as to how to actually manage this and overcome it. I am aware of the reassurance trap and how this is just a vicious cycle of making things worse. The funny thing is this event happened about 15 years ago, and although I was aware of it all this time I never started actually fixating on it until about a year ago. I think this was because a year ago I had just about finally managed to stop worrying about a different Event, so obviously my annoying mind had to find something else to obsess over.

I have an awareness of the fact that the OCD is the issue, but I feel like the feelings of guilt and shame and fear can be so overwhelming sometimes. I know that I made a mistake and it's something I'm not proud of, and my mind just completely latches onto that and makes me feel like im a horrendous person.
Even though this is a "New" event for my OCD to latch onto, it's very similar to other things I've worried about so it feels like I've been carrying around the same feelings of anxiety for the past six years.

Any tips or insight into how you've managed to move past this would be great :)
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
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yes I can relate to all that

I would have to find someone I could trust
and tell them the truth about my mistake

someone who will forgive you for it
then you can start to move past it

:grouphug: 🐢 🎼 🍀
 
E

Elnacho

Member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Italy
yes I can relate to all that

I would have to find someone I could trust
and tell them the truth about my mistake

someone who will forgive you for it
then you can start to move past it

:grouphug: 🐢 🎼 🍀
No this is seen as a compulsion aka “confessing”. This isn’t going to help them at all & will only make them feel better for a short period of time.
 
Z

Zoe1

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No this is seen as a compulsion aka “confessing”. This isn’t going to help them at all & will only make them feel better for a short period of time.
it doesnt feel like confessing if you choose the right person
my personal preference would not be a clergyman
but someone that seems open minded

🎼
 
E

Elnacho

Member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
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Location
Italy
I would
it doesnt feel like confessing if you choose the right person
my personal preference would not be a clergyman
but someone that seems open minded

🎼
You obviously don’t have ocd because encouraging someone to tell someone else what you did is seeking reassurance which isn’t helping at all. & it looks like a way of asking for validation or to see if you’re still a good person or not for something you did in the past. Like i said, this is considered a compulsion.
 
Z

Zoe1

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I do have OCD actually

ive ' confessed ' to everything at one time or another
so that I'm not carrying it around any more
 
E

Elnacho

Member
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May 25, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Italy
I do have OCD actually

ive ' confessed ' to everything at one time or another
so that I'm not carrying it around any more
Okay and that’s still not okay like that’s not supposed to make stuff better. Don’t encourage that.
 
Z

Zoe1

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we will have to agree to disagree on that then
im entitled to say what has been of help to me
 
E

Elnacho

Member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Italy
Anyways my advice would you should find forgiveness for yourself. This is hard but you need find inner peace. If it’s nothing you can do about it, the only thing you can do is dwell on it & try to analyze it. Which is something you should NOT do. Mistakes are part of being human. Understand that confirmation bias is probably causing you to see them as a source of guilt and shame. By they aren't what define you. Look to who you are as a person. Say this out loud, (got this quote from reddit),
“That was wrong of me in the past, it was my error and I genuinely regret it. In the future I am going to strive to not repeat that same mistake and be a better person. However, I acknowledge that we as humans are highly imperfect and we ALL make mistakes (I am not alone here, we all have our 'lists'). Therefore, I sincerely forgive myself and choose to move on as a better person with self respect and self love.” & When it tries to bother you again, just let it sit there without giving it any meaning or feeling to it & it’ll eventually stop bothering you. Don’t try to argue with it or analyze it. If you really want to tell a friend, do that but be careful as your ocd will find something else to feel guilty about and you’ll continually keep telling your friend as a call for reassurance.
 
E

Elnacho

Member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
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Location
Italy
But i do understand the physical feeling to it. The less you analyze or argue or try to think about the thought, the worse the anxiety and guilt will be.
 
U

Usedtolovelife

Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
19
Location
California
Hey guys. I've suffered from OCD for about 6 years. This year I have finally accepted that I needed help and I managed to go through a 6 week course of therapy through my doctor. I have come to the realisaiton, however, that I really need more advice/guidance/techniques for overcoming Real Event OCD. For years I thought I was a terrible person and as soon as I started reading up on Real Event OCD I realised there was a name for it, and other people like me.

I have accepted that I need to stop analysing the event itself, and that the OCD is the problem - but I'm at a loss as to how to actually manage this and overcome it. I am aware of the reassurance trap and how this is just a vicious cycle of making things worse. The funny thing is this event happened about 15 years ago, and although I was aware of it all this time I never started actually fixating on it until about a year ago. I think this was because a year ago I had just about finally managed to stop worrying about a different Event, so obviously my annoying mind had to find something else to obsess over.

I have an awareness of the fact that the OCD is the issue, but I feel like the feelings of guilt and shame and fear can be so overwhelming sometimes. I know that I made a mistake and it's something I'm not proud of, and my mind just completely latches onto that and makes me feel like im a horrendous person.
Even though this is a "New" event for my OCD to latch onto, it's very similar to other things I've worried about so it feels like I've been carrying around the same feelings of anxiety for the past six years.

Any tips or insight into how you've managed to move past this would be great :)
I have the exact same thing. It is debilitating......have you had any treatment success?
i am so desperate for help, thanks,
 
F

Flawless

Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2019
Messages
21
Location
Uk
I know this is a old thread but did anyone get any help with this I have this regarding 3 events from my childhood and I cycle between them I just found out its real event ocd and I'm looking for help
 
R

Rory321

Member
Joined
Feb 24, 2020
Messages
11
Location
London
I know this is a old thread but did anyone get any help with this I have this regarding 3 events from my childhood and I cycle between them I just found out its real event ocd and I'm looking for help
Hey, here are some things that helped me:

- READ UP a bit on Real Event OCD. This can be tricky as it almost falls into the whole re-assurance seeking trap, but defintieyl read up on it so you can understand it a bit more.

- Try and re-frame your thinking: it's not the event that's the problem, it's the OCD.

- Try some different writing exercises. I did a few of these. I would write down a list of EVERYTHING I've worried about over the years, read it again and write down how I felt reading it. I also found it helpful writing a letter to my past self. Also, were there times in your life when you DIDN'T feel this OCD weighing on you so heavily? Maybe write about that, how you felt and what was different.

- Try and find things that have a positive effect on your mental health and incorporate them more into your life. For me, it's things like my fave music, fave movies from my childhood, spending time with family etc.

- Also it helps me sometimes to remember that there is a good chance the majority of people out there are going through something similar. None of us are perfect. We all have made mistakes, we've all done stupid things, we've all been hurt by people or been victims ourselves, we're all stressed out.... Sometimes OCD can really make you think you're the worst.
 
F

Flawless

Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2019
Messages
21
Location
Uk
Hey, here are some things that helped me:

- READ UP a bit on Real Event OCD. This can be tricky as it almost falls into the whole re-assurance seeking trap, but defintieyl read up on it so you can understand it a bit more.

- Try and re-frame your thinking: it's not the event that's the problem, it's the OCD.

- Try some different writing exercises. I did a few of these. I would write down a list of EVERYTHING I've worried about over the years, read it again and write down how I felt reading it. I also found it helpful writing a letter to my past self. Also, were there times in your life when you DIDN'T feel this OCD weighing on you so heavily? Maybe write about that, how you felt and what was different.

- Try and find things that have a positive effect on your mental health and incorporate them more into your life. For me, it's things like my fave music, fave movies from my childhood, spending time with family etc.

- Also it helps me sometimes to remember that there is a good chance the majority of people out there are going through something similar. None of us are perfect. We all have made mistakes, we've all done stupid things, we've all been hurt by people or been victims ourselves, we're all stressed out.... Sometimes OCD can really make you think you're the worst.
Thanks for the tips, I never new this was a type of ocd I've been having this problem for 20 years constantly trying to figure out the memorys spending hours and hours going over them in detail and all that time I had ocd, I've never written or spoken about the events just tried to burry the memorys in my mind but they always came back its a weird ocd, do you think it would help me to speak to a therapist or can you get over this ocd without outside help.
 
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