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Advice for a friend in need



New member
Mar 12, 2009
I'd love to start out by saying thanks so much to everyone who helps me with this, it means so much to me
im brand new at this so please accept my apology when i say that this is probably not the right category to post this thread...but please help anyways

so i have a best friend whom ive known for about a year and a half now (i know that doesnt seem like very long but we clicked right away and were best friends)
anyways, sometime last week i was walking home and she was walking back to school (with a friend who i am not friends with). I called out her name, she didnt even turn around to say hi or give me a hug or anything (which she always does). Instead, she just walked right by.
later on, on the weekend, she came over for the night and i was trying to see what was wrong with her. She told me that she was not mad at me (which i believe is true), shes just super overwhelmed with some drama thats been going on with her other friends, (whom i am not friends with), therefore, respectively, she cannot spread the drama (which is understandable)

whats really getting to me is that first of all, we tell eachother everything...when i way everything, i mean ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. so i guess it was just hard for me for her to not tell me something thats on her mind.
second of all, its already been a week, and shes still acting so depressed about this drama...i feel like our relationship is falling apart. when i usually text her, we have the greatest conversations ever (we could talk forever)...but for the past week, its been completely one sided conversations.
we also call eachother every single night and talk on the phone for about 3-4 hours each night...lately, we've still been doing that, but were both just silent...(she has nothing to say)
when i see her, she doesnt talk, she doesnt smile, she's just not herself in general.
and she gets so frustrated with me for the littlest reasons... like today for example, she looked sad so i asked her whats a matter...she got so mad at me and didnt even give me a hug as i was walking into my next class (like she usually does)...this type of behavior has been a regular occurance throughout the last week.
now, she often just runs off with her other friends (that are having the drama) alot and we dont see eachother nearly as much as we used to

i dont know what to do...
ive been trying to help,
i've just tried to act normal...that doesnt work cuz its Really hard to act normal around a friend who cant even smile back (and when she does, it just looks hollow...)
i've tried talking with her, asking whats a matter, asking what i can do to help...that doesnt work..."whats a matter sweetie? " (me)..."im just stressed, ok?" (her) ..."um...ok...is there anything i can do to help?" (me)... "NO! k i gotta go talk to you later." (her) ........thats a regular convo now.

she says that she wants me to be there for her...but i have no clue how when it seems like she doesnt even wanna be friends with her anymore...

right now it just seems easiest to just continue on with my life...not interruping hers...and just let her be...
that would involve:
talking to her when she talks to me (only)
hanging out with my other friends...and let her hand out with whoever she wants
not walking her to classes anymore
not hanging out on the weekends as much
only texting or calling her when she calls or texts me
...basically treating her like i would treat any other acquaintance in my school and letting her come to me if she ever wants it back

the only problem with that is...i feel that our relationship would just go right down the drain...we would drift apart till it was non-existent...i dont want that to happen cuz i lover her so much...more than anything in the entire world...and it would kill me to see anything happen to her
i want her to get better more than anything in the world cuz shes an irreplaceable friend...i couldnt live without her.

i just dont know what to do to fix her...any suggestions???
btw, just reading this has brought me to tears thinking about it...
thanks so much, :hug:


Former member
This is a forum for people with mental health problems so if either you or your friend have a mental health problem that could affect your relationship.

If you haven't it just sounds to me that she's in that typical adolescent phase of fickleness where you make new friends and leave the old ones behind. It could just be time to get a new best friend.

http://www.teenissues.co.uk/ try this link.