Advice and help with bpd and relationships needed.

N

Nommy

New member
Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
1
#1
I’ve a question for all you with bpd or even those of you who are in a relationship with someone who has bpd.

I need advice and/or answers..<br>
My bpd gets the most intense while I’m in a relationship. While I’m in a relationship everything can be so perfect. I had an amazing guy who made me feel beautiful and all that good stuff, but our main issue (in fact our only issue) was always that when he went out with his friends, I would get really hurt, sad. We would argue.<br>
He doesn’t want to be with me now because he can’t understand my feelings and he just things I’m some controlling bitch. I’ve never wanted him not to see his friends, I’ve just wanted for me to deal with it better than I do.

Although he said he would stay and try and find a way that will help the situation, as soon as it happened, he left me.

Can someone please explain this, help me and possibly him understand.

:(
 
N

notrealname

Well-known member
Joined
May 4, 2009
Messages
766
#2
I think that regardless of mental illness, the key to any good relationship is communication, from both sides.

Perhaps it depends how you communicate that you feel sad when the person is going out with their friends. Did you say it directly? Like: I want you to be able to spend time with your friends without me as I think that's important, but for some reason every time you do I feel a lot of pain and I don't understand why. If you communicate it that way, then I would fully expect any grown adult to speak to you about it. Perhaps it is that you are lonely, etc., or perhaps you could have brainstormed some ideas as to why you are sad, what kind of thoughts might be there, and perhaps you could have made a plan to see a service or counsellor to help you deal with that.

However, sometimes perhaps you will communicate your feelings in the way I just described and the other person will react with anger anyway. In that case, it is they who have the communication problems, and they are not a great person to be in a relationship with.
 

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