advice about past trauma and relationships?

spoon-racoon

spoon-racoon

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hiding in a trashcan
I'm 18 right now, and for about 2 years during high school I was in a really toxic relationship. It was my first time dating someone and I was essentially groomed into accepting the abusive situation as normal. I feel like this experience really messed up my ability to form healthy relationships, and I'm scared of getting close to someone again. At the same time, I'm developing some romantic interests. I'm just scared of entering/creating another toxic environment and not being able to nurture a healthy relationship. I've also noticed that I'm drawn to people who have emotional issues similar to mine--is this good or bad? Is it healthy for me to pursue a relationship right now? I feel broken and lonely and unsure about everything.
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

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Have you thought about therapy? I know it's not for everyone. I have trust issues too. I am afraid of being abused which is one of the reasons I'm still single. Sorry you were abused. I'm glad you got out. Gotta be very careful who you trust. :hug:
 
spoon-racoon

spoon-racoon

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Joined
Apr 5, 2018
Messages
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Location
hiding in a trashcan
thanks for the support <3 at the same time, I'm sorry that you relate :( I am in therapy, and we're starting to work through this stuff but I have a feeling it's gonna be a long long time before i feel safe again
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

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Good step taking therapy. It does take a long time to heal. Here to support you in the process. :hug:
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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It's good that you have this insight. The good thing is that you can take your time. Take as long as you need to before entering a relationship.
 
J

Jstar845

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Joined
Feb 11, 2018
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Hello, Thanks for posting. I am sorry to hear about your past experience. I know that you didn't deserve this. I admire your strength and daily fight. Please know that you can and it's okay to not be in a relationship and you should take your time with relationships. I know you need time to heal. I encourage you to continue to post and get support from those close to you. If possible get counseling. I believe journaling, relaxation techniques, breathing exercises take several deep breathes while counting 1 to 10 then recount may help. Best wishes!

QUOTE=spoon-racoon;1629432]I'm 18 right now, and for about 2 years during high school I was in a really toxic relationship. It was my first time dating someone and I was essentially groomed into accepting the abusive situation as normal. I feel like this experience really messed up my ability to form healthy relationships, and I'm scared of getting close to someone again. At the same time, I'm developing some romantic interests. I'm just scared of entering/creating another toxic environment and not being able to nurture a healthy relationship. I've also noticed that I'm drawn to people who have emotional issues similar to mine--is this good or bad? Is it healthy for me to pursue a relationship right now? I feel broken and lonely and unsure about everything.[/QUOTE]
 

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