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Advice about keeping up with ED recovery

S

Sir_Napsalot

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Australia
Hi anyone who reads this,

I am having a bit of trouble and I was wondering if anyone else has had the same issue. I had an eating disorder around 6-7 years ago and lost a considerable amount of weight in a short amount of time. At that time I stopped eating due to depression, but when I started getting compliments about how good I was looking it became a concious thing that I did so I could continue to be praised. I had been overweight for a lot of my life, and yet I was surrounded by skinny family members who were always being complimented, hit on, and were confident. I just wanted to be like that.

Anyway, about a year into this disastrous lifestyle I got into my first serious relationship to someone who is now my fiance. He helped me to really recover, I went on antidepressants, I ate 3 meals a day, I had dinner dates often where I would eat all the "worst" foods. I put on weight. A lot of it.

The main problem is that any time I try to lose weight, or start to feel disgusted by my body, I feel so sick. I can't eat anything, because as soon as it touches my tongue I gag. Water even makes me feel queasy. I'm doing so good for myself and I am happy. I'm smashing goals left and right. I'm putting in so much effort to live the life I never thought I'd be able to, but this one thing is in the way. All I want to do is restrict myself.I have to make meal plans and a gym schedule every week to make sure this doesn't happen. But I can't control the nausea.

I guess my question is, does anyone else who has recovered from an eating disorder still feel it trying to overtake you when you start to lose confidence, and if so how do you deal with it? I just want to be able to eat properly again, while losing weight and becoming a healthier verson of myself.

(If it helps, I am actually a girl despite my username, and autistic so I have a very limited selection of things I can eat because of my sensory processing disorder).
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
6,296
Location
England
I have stopped eating before, briefly, because i was upset about something. I also could not put anything in my mouth.

Losing weight is really about health though, so it is something to do when you are mentally well i would think. It is about feeling good, getting all those nutrients, exercise, becoming well and strong and fit.

We are all different body shapes and we have to love our own. It is essential to eat well but have treats sometimes.

Good food
Good mood
 

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