ADHD in adults

PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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#1
This isn’t about me but my partner, he had ADHD as a child and I wonder does he still have it or something similar? I’m not too sure how the whole aspect of everything works so I would be grateful of any help and advise.

He can be hyper vigilant with certain things like work and gaming, he loves doing spreadsheets and working things out and that kind of thing being very organised. He even does spreadsheets for some of his gaming things.

Outside of this he can be a nightmare. Due to physical issues I have I need a lot of help with house work but it’s really hard to keep him consistent with the help. There will be days when he is extremely good and will almost work himself to exhaustion and then I can’t even get him to do things other days, like he will wash 3/4 things and then leave it

Is he being lazy or is this a hangover from ADHA as a kid?
 
Jef Costello

Jef Costello

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#2
You really don't get rid of ADHD. Maybe you get rid of the hyperactivity as you get older, but you can't get rid of neurodevelopmental disorders. If he had ADHD as a kid, he has it now too. Being able to devote hours to something you think is fun and be tired and unable to do house chores as an adult definitely sounds like ADHD. Symptoms can ease up over time though, especially as you get older. I take it he's not on medication?
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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#3
No he’s not, he doesn’t really like taking medication at all really. It’s just something I’ve noticed more a more recently. Particularly when we/he is stressed?

I just don’t know how to bring it up with him without him maybe getting defensive? I love him to bits, but it gets to me when I can’t clean and tidy due to pain and he won’t. It triggers real anxiety in me
 
Jef Costello

Jef Costello

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#4
It's a vicious circle. ADHD can make you feel extra anxious and stressed, and whenever that happens the ADHD symptoms as being lazy, inattentive, forgetful, organization etc worsen. You can barely notice the symptoms when you do something you like though. Inattentiveness and the inability to be organized switches out for a state of hyperfocus, for instance.
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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#5
That does sound like him to a T! I’ll try gently talk to him if I can, this has helped a lot
 
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