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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Accepting this as a real condition.

jajingna

jajingna

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Seems like I'm still coming to terms with this insidious illness, never quite able to accept it as such. But I've had troubles since high school because of this, and that was several decades ago. Man, what a sneaky bastard of a condition. You can't even explain it to people though it's said to be common.

Nobody knows there's anything wrong, or they might make some mistaken guess. The real reason still sounds strange. I'm not depressed, I'm not intellectually impaired, I'm able-bodied, my health is good. Seems like a hard thing to accept I have an illness or disorder. And it seems like no one would quite believe it, but what a tremendous effect it has had, and in such a sneaky manner. A common condition that somehow flies under the radar.
 
malika

malika

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i feel you. what gives me hope is that the self description neurodivers is actually becoming an acknowledged identifier. when i get to know people now, i try to find a moment to drop the fact that i have anxiety disorder, and it actually makes me less anxious when they know
 
jajingna

jajingna

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anxiety disorder
Yeah, you know, I might just say that sometime, maybe sometime when I get one of those annoying comments about me being quiet. Sometimes people seem to dislike that quietness, I guess because you're not entertaining them or you seem weird or... not sure, but never knew what to say about it.
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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i remember when i was younger i could not ignore people. i was hyper aware of anyone around me. eventually later if i wasnt looking at someone they would disappear. my mind was free finally. then it didnt matter as much if there was poeple around. i didnt notice them anyway.
 
malika

malika

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Yeah, you know, I might just say that sometime, maybe sometime when I get one of those annoying comments about me being quiet. Sometimes people seem to dislike that quietness, I guess because you're not entertaining them or you seem weird or... not sure, but never knew what to say about it.
ah yeah, you know, and i dont like people who cant be quiet :)

but i get what you mean, for me it´s more the power of the normative public gesture of speaking that makes me go all tensed up, and i had to learn to allow myself to stay quiet. when i was younger i sometimes wished for a shirt saying " i can actually say smart things" because in certain social situations i would end up giving into the pressure and eventually talk very stupid stuff because i was so tensed up. haha, im happy i grew out of this, at least for the most part.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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My phobia or paranoia I guess, would arise when in social situations sometimes when there were extra people there, or even one person who could hear the conversation I was having with another. It was like they were an audience judging me and I'd have an intense fear of embarrassment or something. I'd have trouble using a phone with anybody also in the room, or like one time I wish I asked someone out but other people being right there, ugh, can hear what we're saying.. weird fears I know.
 
malika

malika

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i totally see your point, and dont find this is weird fears. i know them, and they are trouble.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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I tried to tell my brother once about my old phone phobia or something, and he was pretty uncomfortable with it. I think it does sound weird to most people. Not that he is without his own issues of course but I guess it can be hard to understand a foreign-sounding issue like a phobia. Seems like most people just say "well that's ridiculous" and of course that may be true in a way. But I suppose on closer inspection those people would also see some irrational things in their own minds, that leads them to behave in some odd ways.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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when I get one of those annoying comments about me being quiet. Sometimes people seem to dislike that quietness, I guess because you're not entertaining them or you seem weird or... not sure, but never knew what to say about it.
Don't you just hate those comments? I do. It feels like an insult (but that's probably because I was bullied for being quiet). Or what about this one: an autistic guy that I had a short conversation with once said to me: 'You're actually pretty intelligent. I thought you were dumb because you're so quiet.' Like wtf? Autistic people are always honest though.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Yes, I sure do hate those comments, they upset me a lot. Last time my brother said something along those lines I barely spoke to him for weeks after. Quiet people are fully aware of their quietness. To me it's like reminding someone "hey you're really fat" or something like they had no idea?
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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Exactly!
In the year book of my high school they had come up with categories of people like 'who's likely the first to get married', 'who's the teacher's pet'. Supposed to be funny I guess. There was also a categorie called 'the most quiet student' and I won. It's a trauma, really.
 

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