- Apr 6, 2021
Iam a 27 y.o old girl .People always saw the nice man who helps the poor and play with the kids the nice father who is perfect and who is spoiling his kids he spend his salary on family only... he is perfect but WAIT ! No one knows him indoor its like someone out a spell on him to transfer to a monster when he is with his family.. i dont know from where to begin i am tired of people telling me to thank god that he is sponsoring us but my mom do too, my father worked only in his free time he went with his friends travel or have fun he doesnt care about spending time with our mother or us.. i remember that my father abuse started dince i was 4 or 5 i remember fight with my big sister at night for a doll i was only five y.o he took a bag put some of my clothes in and took me with the car to an empty road left me alone with my bag for minutes in the dark because i was yelling and that bothered him..... what kind of human being can do this to his little daughter ??? He was always beating me when he is md from the work and come back home to sleep even if he hears me laugh louldy qhen i play with my siblings he get up and beat me its not my fault if i have good vocal cords im a bit loud but thats my natural voice.. he beat for weak reasons .. when we go somewhere and that i laugh in the street he asks me to be strict and yell at me he used different tools to beat me one of them was big wood stick it was so painful other times a belt that left purple traces and some blood on my back i was going to take my bag and run but it was my mom i couldnt make her worry she has hypertension i just cant accept it i did nothing seripus to deserve all that cruelty!!! I got my license card from the first time on tiny car he took me with hi car 4x4 i wasnt used to it i didnt drive it well he slapped me and i was crying and he slapped me again becuse i am crying and i was driving.. i travel and i have extra 1 or 2 kilos for the airplane he yells at me and slap me in front of people in the airport i went to study abroad after my high school for 7 years. I cam back 4 months ago and i really cant live hear im just going to another foreign country to work but im here to learn the language i went this morning at 9h to the library and i came back at 12:00 he couldnt say anythin but when mom came back he was like do ypu trust that she went there u stupid she is lying to you.. he is always plying detective and think he is smarter than people 1 month ago he said bad stuffs to me like really hurting i went to my room to cry i cant stand someone telling me loser and other worse words.. he came to my room and slapped me because im crying i dont even have the right to cry... i want to die i hate myself and my life i live in modern society my father was CEO in big company he is educated studied 6 yesterday abroad my mother is university teacher.. we are not from a society that treat woman like trash... i dont have a job yet to leave the house.. nd the worst part is the impact of all this on me marriage for me is a horror i refused any boyfriend who propose to mw i hated the idea im agressive a bit i get mad fastly but at least i listen to people.. i dont have self confidence when im outside i feel people are watching me more than normal i wish i was invisible i alternate between (maybe depression ) and hating myself to energetic and optimistic about my future . But when we fight and he treat like im nothing i think abt running away and ruining my future cause my job is not demanded in my country im just waiting for him to send me abroad after i finish the language course.. . I feel a terrible person for hating him should i regret it ? I never miss him i feel he is dead but i never wish something bad happen to him thats how my sweet mom raised us.. but im tired i feel prisoner at the age of 27 and he still discussing if i can get out to do normal life activities... how should i deal with him please ???