Absence or reduction of pleasurable emotions and depression

[firemonkey]

How much is a difficulty in experiencing pleasurable emotions related to the state of being depressed?
It is possible i believe to be muted or indeed lacking in a sense of pleasure and yet not be in a state that would be defined as depression.

I tend to feel positive emotions with far less intensity than negative ones. When it comes to things that are not negative ie neutral or positive my response is either matter of fact/neutral or lacking a full degree of pleasure. I am to some extent anhedonic or in a state of mental greyness as opposed to blackness.

When it comes to things that are of a negative quality there is much more of an emotionally charged reaction.
Whereas in the former ie neutral/positive i feel too little in the latter i feel too much.
I sometimes wonder whether both are differing parts of a personal hell.
When in a state of greyness and emotional sterility/emptiness there is the longing to feel more alive and yet when that occurs it is of such an acute and unpleasant quality there is the wish to sink into a mental coma and be devoid of the ability to feel.

 

[saffron]

I feel like that sometimes, It feels that nothing I experience will give me complete pleasure, I sometimes feel guilty for allowing myself to be happy, or that I just cannot release and join in because I do not feel the same as the others, its almost like im putting it on.
I do not know whether this is an association to depression or what, but I have always felt like this. however, other times I can laugh and giggle at the most stupid or inappropriate things, seeing someone falling over does this, its not that I am laughing at them or want to see them hurt but I cannot control the giggles i get, not even sure why, when I think about it after.
it a funny thing to understand, and sometimes I can turn myself inside out trying to, and most of it concludes that it is a million dollar question that may not actually have an answer, but that I am looking into things far too much,, especially when I question myself.
sorry to blah on
S

 

[KP1]

I find that my emotions are blunted. I don't cry spontaneously and I don't laugh spontaneously.
I also feel more and more that I just don't fit anywhere including in my own familly;Is this depression? I don't know but it certainly means there is a greyness to life and I feel insincere in my family relations.
KP

 

[saffron]

hI Kp
I see what you mean,
I there anything you are searching for?
sounds like something is missing in your life? could be wrong sorry if I am.
S

 

[silly madam]

I have the same problems with my emotions. I never get really really happy about anything any more but i put that down to reality. I should never be as happy as i am when i am manic in normal life and thats what i find difficult.

However, last year i was totally lacking in emotion. My husband in tears in front of me caused no emotion in me at all. I was like that all of last year until finally i went into hospital and had my anti d changed. It was the tablets that were altering things. I do feel things again but my emotions do still feel blunted. It might be worth having a look at your medication. Hope you get it sorted.

 

[quality factor]

Hi,
I feel much the same, lacking in emotion. There is a dullness to everyday events, even if something interests or amuses me it doesn't last for long.
I am either in a state of varying levels of depression or have a neutral feeling about things.The shine has gone out of my life...maybe that is the meds, in fact it probably is. It is not a life sometimes, but an existence.

 

[firemonkey]

I do experience some level of depression but that is less of a constant than the decreased or increased emotionality/feeling.

My pdoc is reluctant to put me on an antidepressant because of what he calls the possible negative effect on my moods.
I find this strange in light of the diagnostic change from schizoaffective mixed type(primarily)/bipolar to Pd NOS with primarily Borderline features.
On one hand i am not sufficiently prone to swings between depression and (hypo) mania to apparently warrant the previous diagnoses but on the other he is taking a decision not to prescribe in case of a reaction that is found in people who are bipolar or schizoaffective mixed/bipolar type.

 

[saffron]

sometimes when that happens to me I think that is my head giving itself a break for a while, sounds silly I know, but I need to beleive it is for a good reason.
S

 

[quality factor]

Interestingly I was intially diagnosed bipolar 11, then on changing pdocs I was given a new diagnosis of primarily borderline/ bipolar11 with elements of schitzoaffective disorder. I am on a high dose of anti/depressant and tegretol is being used both to treat mood/epilepsy. My pdoc took me off Lithium with the change of diagnosis 16 months ago, saying that I did not need two mood stabilisers, whereas my previous pdoc felt that in my case lithium and tegretol complimented each other.
The high dose of anti depressant can cause an elevation in mood but with me it is infrequent.