- Feb 21, 2021
So, a little back ground. I have suffered from severe anxiety and depression since I was 15. I am now 41. I had agoraphobia so bad from the time I was 23 until I was 34. It was so bad I had to be put on disability. Somehow, I drug myself out of it and went to nursing school. I have been working as a nurse for 5 years. All has been well until about 4 months ago. I have palpitations, heart flutters and flops, dizziness, heart racing, sweating and feeling like I’m going to die. It has gotten so bad I don’t want to go anywhere. I am scared to go to work. I am scared to be alone. I hate this. I can’t even keep my grandson anymore. I hate myself for getting back here. I have a loop recorder implanted to monitor my heart because of the flutters. It has shown A fib but my EP says it’s artifact and not in fact true A-fib. Idk I just feel completely alone and like maybe it would be better if it did just kill me. Feeling useless right now and needed a place to vent.