About to lose my mind over these attacks!

[Mommaof3]

So, a little back ground. I have suffered from severe anxiety and depression since I was 15. I am now 41. I had agoraphobia so bad from the time I was 23 until I was 34. It was so bad I had to be put on disability. Somehow, I drug myself out of it and went to nursing school. I have been working as a nurse for 5 years. All has been well until about 4 months ago. I have palpitations, heart flutters and flops, dizziness, heart racing, sweating and feeling like I’m going to die. It has gotten so bad I don’t want to go anywhere. I am scared to go to work. I am scared to be alone. I hate this. I can’t even keep my grandson anymore. I hate myself for getting back here. I have a loop recorder implanted to monitor my heart because of the flutters. It has shown A fib but my EP says it’s artifact and not in fact true A-fib. Idk I just feel completely alone and like maybe it would be better if it did just kill me. Feeling useless right now and needed a place to vent.

 

[fmcq]

I am with you and I'm so sorry to hear about the effect this disorder has had on your life. Just to share a little, today has been a really bad day for my anxiety. I can't seem to shake it today, even with medication which for all the world makes my anxiety worse. All day long I've been convinced that I'm having a heart attack and have been trying to convince myself it's all in my head. Every single symptom you described I have also experienced on more than one occasion. I believe that yours may be anxiety related too and as long as you've had checkups with your doctor and everything I'm sure you're fine. But I know how devastating and exhausting this condition is and I just wanted you to know that you are certainly not alone in your feelings, physical or emotional. I'm happy to talk anytime.

 

[Mommaof3]

Thank you for your reply. I tell myself it’s all anxiety, but as you know, this monster of anxiety doesn’t give in. I keep telling myself it’s not my heart and it’s all anxiety. I had an uncle go into cardiac arrest and pass in October, I suspect that’s where this is all coming from. He had been having some dizziness and the drs said it was probably his blood pressure meds so they stopped them. Looking back I think he was having episodes of v-tach. He had a long list of health issues and had had multiple surgeries etc before this so he wasn’t a healthy person or had a healthy heart to begin with. Idk it’s just good to feel not alone. My husband doesn’t understand he just gets mad at me. I am so exhausted from trying to just continue normal, everyday activities that most take for granted.

 

[fmcq]

My man is the same way. You would think I'm just a weakling with a bunch of made up symptoms or something. It's hard not being able to rely on the person who is supposed to be closest to yowith the difficulties we face every day.

 

[fmcq]

Whoops accidentally posted.

 

[Blooming]

How are your relation to relaxation exercises? They do really work, but you have to be persitent with the exercises (at least every day's practice for two months).

Is this the time to try a therapist or to continue with an old therapist?