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abit of a rant, sorry

anxietyqueen

anxietyqueen

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 21, 2010
Messages
988
Im feeling so pi**ed off at the mo, sorry just gonna get some stuff of my chest.

I had a shit childhood, used and abused and I never said a word. He's got away with it, BASTARD. Now i'm left with this awful flashbacks and a crap life. Then my health decides to take a bash at me, ARGH like I dont have enough to deal with. Get lost.
I just wanna curl up and cry but im afraid I might not stop :'(
 
D

DELATEXT

Guest
I had similar horrible childhood, you have every right to your anger and fury, are you getting any counselling help and support ??
the scum bag who did this, should burn in hell !!
please post here we try to help and will support you, you are not alone !!
 
anxietyqueen

anxietyqueen

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 21, 2010
Messages
988
No im not having any counselling or anything. I feel really ashamed, how can I ever say that to someone :-(
 
anxietyqueen

anxietyqueen

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Joined
Sep 21, 2010
Messages
988
Its like I know he's to blame but I cant stop feeling like I did something to.
 
D

DELATEXT

Guest
do not blame yourself this reaction happens to all victims I did the same you are innocent can you call the help line I gave you or is there friend who can support you, if you cannot talk to the doctor ??
 
anxietyqueen

anxietyqueen

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 21, 2010
Messages
988
I really dont know, argh so frustrating I feel like im gonna explode all the time.
 
D

DELATEXT

Guest
please try to get help do not let this eat you up,
it does help really but you've every right to be angry and furious but do not direct at yourself, I did until I got help, reclaim your life,
post here anytime wishing you well


:grouphug:
 
anxietyqueen

anxietyqueen

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Joined
Sep 21, 2010
Messages
988
I'll try, thanks
 
iffybob

iffybob

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Oct 20, 2009
Messages
4,859
Location
England
It took me a long time to figure out too, I was physicaly and verbly abused all through my childhood, i had it drilled into me that it was cos I was bad or did somthing wrong , and I belived that.

But I wasnt, it was all just an excuse by bad adults for there behavyor ...

I know after it has gone on for so long, its hard to shift the feeling that it was you own fault , but it wasnt.

You do need to get help, and talk this through with some one, some times just talking about it helps, somtimes it can help you realise that you are not blame for what has happened to you........

..... :flowers:
 
anxietyqueen

anxietyqueen

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 21, 2010
Messages
988
Im just scared that what I think, others will to :-(
 
Boris

Boris

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Joined
Jul 20, 2010
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1,332
Location
UK
You`re not alone, there are many on this forum, who have gone through similar things, and the end results for those individuals affected are all too familiar. You aren`t to blame, and these people need to be brought to justice. All the time you suffer in silence, these sickos are leading a hassle free life, after doing their revolting deeds and taking your life away from you! The one thing these people don`t want, is for their victims to go public! It takes enormous courage, and people do respect that.
 
iffybob

iffybob

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Messages
4,859
Location
England
Ok, I understand that you dont want to bring up the past, but you need to get this sorted for you, you dont have to make a police matter out of it unless 'you' choose to, but you will get the opertunity to talk it through and try and reason it, and have some one else explain to you , face to face that you are not at fault.
 
anxietyqueen

anxietyqueen

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Joined
Sep 21, 2010
Messages
988
Yea i'm beginning to realise I can't do this on my own, I never thought it would come back to me like it has.
 
iffybob

iffybob

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Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
4,859
Location
England
It happens ,......... :hug:s

I know when I ... 'got out of it' , my situation, i just wanted to build a normal life, and tried just to get on with it, I didnt realise how it was eating away at me, and that the way I felt, the nightmares and the flash backs were my past..

.. but thats the way it goes, its not till a time after you stop surviving and it all has time to sink in that it hits you.

That part of it is a normal reaction ....
 
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