Abandonment issues?

Lynds1990

Lynds1990

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Has anyone dealt with abandonment issues by someone they were not in a relationship with, and had no romantic feelings for at all at the time?
 
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Zoe1

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oh most definitely ! pretty much everyone really !

my mother died in a tragedy when I was 17
and ive been pretty clingy ever since

I dont know the answer to it
apart from I try to spread my needs around
so that I'm attached to alot of different people
rather than just depending on one person

:grouphug:
 
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Coolname

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I dont know the answer to it
apart from I try to spread my needs around
so that I'm attached to alot of different people
Yep, spreading my emotional needs across as large a group as possible is how I deal.
 
Lynds1990

Lynds1990

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Well, I've just recently dealt with something that I didn't expect, and I'm not handling it very well.

I wasn't fully aware it could happen and I'm not liking it much.
 
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Zoe1

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do you want to talk about it ?
 
Lynds1990

Lynds1990

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Well, I dated a guy and got pregnant a little over 3 years ago. Still talked to him until recently. Things had gone south pretty quickly and I figured it was because he was talking to someone else and being crappy to me because of it. Turns out, I was right and he lied to my face about it.

I have absolutely no feelings toward him at all, but I still feel like I have nobody now and it's not exactly the greatest feeling.
 
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Zoe1

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n yeah been there ...

do you have literally nobody or does it just feel like that ?
because I have family and friends
that I'm somewhat distant from to an extent
but they do care about me really when I see them for what they are

or if you have literally nobody
then you now have us

:loveshower:
 
Lynds1990

Lynds1990

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I'm distant with family and the only friend I can actively rely on live in another country.. I really don't have anyone to confide in, other than her and my therapist, which sounds really sad haha.

I've dealt with it, but never with someone that I don't have feelings for and it's just strange to me. I'm not sure how to handle it and don't really want to speak to him either. I'd rather sleep until it goes away but I can't sleep. :(
 
Lynds1990

Lynds1990

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And thank you, I appreciate it. :)
 
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Zoe1

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n yeah , I get it ! I'm being quite sociable actually at the moment
and have family that I love
but still I feel that I can really be entirely myself around them

ive only been on this forum since July
and its really helping, because you can say pretty much anything here

:) :loveshower:
 
Lynds1990

Lynds1990

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I feel really silly to admit things, because I know how stupid it sounds. Especially being upset over someone being with another person when you don't even want them..

Why is that so bothersome?
 
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Zoe1

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it isn't ' silly ' its how you feel !
I dont think feelings respond to how you ought to feel
they are wild and have a life of our own

I think its more a case of riding them out
rather than trying to belittle them

:grouphug:
 
Lynds1990

Lynds1990

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That's the thing, I'm not great at the "riding them out part". I typically try to fix the problem any way I can so I feel better and then deal with it however I did before, good or bad.

The situation wasn't great, and I know that. But at the same time, I don't like feeling this way so I want the problem to go away and in my head, that's what I have to do. Fix the problem, make it go away.
 
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Zoe1

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n yeah I think we all sometimes try to fix things

what are you doing to fix it ?
 
Lynds1990

Lynds1990

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Could always break them up.
 
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