A whole month without sleep

C

cosmiclove

Member
Joined
Feb 27, 2013
Messages
14
Location
Ireland
#1
Hi all,

I am posting here as I am at a veryvmentally challenging stage. There are decisions to make but my thinking has gotten so distorted.

I had a bout of severe depression 12 years ago as a teenager. Since then, have suffered on and off from pretty bad anxiety but was never medicated. Felt as though as the years went on I'd gotten much better at managing it.

About a month ago, I was on work experience for a course I'm doing. Leading up to that, I was working full time in a completely unrelated field and doing the online coursework by night. Stress was starting to build up but had no depressed thoughts, perhaps just some strong nerves about work experience. Long story short, three days into the work experience, I became so overwhelmed to the point that I had what I can only describe as a nervous breakdown and ended up telling the boss that I couldn't go in anymore. The paperwork for the placement seemed impossible to manage, and I had this mental block and no idea how I could get organised. It was anxiety and panic attacks one after the other all night. I know now, looking back, that withdrawing was so ridiculously stupid, esp after all the work that had been done leading up to it, now it's resulted in me having to defer the course for another year. I completely surrendered to feelings of fear and inadequacy and now I'm facing the consequences. Would not wish it on anyone.

Since that day, it's gone from crippling anxiety to severe depression. I am at home everyday without any real purpose. My friends, family and boyfriend are doing their best to be supportive and kind but I hate the way that I'm dragging all of them down with my low mood, which is so hard to pick up. I really fear them all walking away from me.

The doctor has put me on anti depressants but I have only slept maybe 5 nights in a whole month. Every night I have really disturbed thoughts that cannot be switched off. That karma is punishing me for all the times I didn't do right in life.

I have lost a whole stone weight as the only time where I feel like I can eat is when there's people around me. Have tried everything in the past month - talk therapy, talking to those closest to me. I now have to make a decision regarding my future, and whether to return to the course and pay the fees and face my fears, or take the safe option and opt for a lower paid entry level job and forget about the course and all the stress involved with it. To be honest as immature as it sounds I just want someone else to make it for me.

I'm not even so sure what to expect people to say
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 12, 2019
Messages
890
Location
Minnesota, USA
#3
Hi @cosmiclove

I am so sorry you are having all these obstacles and going through stressful times.

Sleep only becomes a problem if you are anxious and stressed but it can cause even more anxiety and depression.

I can recommend melatonin to help you sleep or you can get Trazodone by proscription from your doctor. Trazodone can help with depression sometimes.

If you are stressed and feeling overwhelmed, you can postpone the course until you feel better and prepare for it mentally.

I hope you feel better and things go well.
 
LadyDomino

LadyDomino

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Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
139
Location
Dorset
#4
Getting sleep should help. The psych Doc recently put me on pregablin (its licensed for sleep and as an anti hystermin here in UK) and it does help. Its supposed to be non-addictive, though I haven't tried not taking them. I've also found getting some excersie does help, albeit short walks everyday.

Online/over the counter you could try Valerian - it certainly helps my insomniac husband sleep!
 
daffy

daffy

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Dec 16, 2007
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4,795
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hiding behind the sofa
#5
You really need to get some sleeep. Sometimes when we don’t sleep our body clock goes out of sinque . I would see your go to get som help and also look up mindfulness and headspace on YouTube there both very good for getting you to relax. B up I think once you get your sleep into a decent pattern your depression should lift. If after that it doesn’t you may need further help

Daf:grouphug:
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,234
#6
Some anti depressants can cause insomnia. Are you taking them first thing in the morning?

If you are, talk with your doctor about the insomnia. They may be able to give you something short term to help, like a mild sedative. Or they may change your anti depressant. It could be something simple like your body’s chemistry doesn’t agree with that particular drug.
 

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