A very serious problem need help

[George10111]

Bare with me. This gets pretty deep and heavy

I feel like I'm just a problem in everyone's life. Please bare with me I'm not looking for attention. I just really need some help. I'm a 25 yr old male.

I had a fight with my parents the other day and we made up. I don't have enough money to move out. My parents hate me living with them but I don't know what I'm going to do. Its either this or live in a box outside. I come home and hear my parents talking shit about me, about how much of an inconvenience I've always been and how much money I've costed them. They're talking about moving into a shoebox so I'll be forced to move out.

I try to survive day to day mentally but I realize I might very well take my life some day. I just can't make it in this world. I can't do anything right and I don't feel like anyone will ever love and respect me. I get laughed at everywhere I go. If I'm going to be miserable my whole life I'd honestly rather just die. I don't think my parents even love me. All my neighbors hate me.

There is no peace in my life. Something tragic is always happening, ALWAYS if not tragic majorly inconvenient. I never get a chance to catch my breath. I know it would be selfish to commit suicide but I really don't see any long term way I can live in this world. I don't have any friends and I don't know where I'd end up if I did stay alive. All the odds are stacked up against me constantly. I try to find ways to make my parents happy every day but its never enough. Its not their fault I'm suicidal, not at all. This is my thing, brought in by life's circumstances. Everything bad that's ever happened has always been blamed on me. I just feel like I'm nothing more then a punching sac and a vomit bag.

I feel like a major burden. I don't want to be a burden to anybody. I love my parents. I feel like its all my fault. My bills have been choking me financially and I've had no way to really get ahead. I'm being 100% serious, not pitty me feel bad for poor George, I'm being real. I don't know what's going to happen to me today. Taking it an hour at a time.

 

[Poopy Doll]

George, have you considered joining the armed forces ?? My son did not know what to do with himself, could not succeed in school, so he joined the army. It totally changed his life.

 

[The Owl]

Hi George,

You are only 25! You have really only just started living.I know you think your able to move on. But I think you need to stop and think about what you want in life. Respect is earnt always and you seem to think everyone hates you. I don't believe that for a moment, but lets say you are right. Why would that be? Sometimes you need to change things and prove to everyone that you should be respected. 25 is the perfect time to do this. I'm sure you think you don't have the strength to move on right now.

Well your wise enough to make your own decisions. So tell me what do you want to do? Do you have a dream job. Well why not do something to get it. The world is getting smaller, New technologies mean you can, hold a phone in your hand that has a bigger memory than the computer that took the first rocket to the moon. (That's a fact!) The only person that can stop you achieving your dreams is you!

You say you love your parents. Sometimes parents are a pain but believe me as a dad, I can tell you they love you to! (though you may think not!!!) They are just older than you, so they come from another generation!

So take a deep breath and live each day as it comes and do your best to move forward... You can do it George. It took huge courage to write on this board . You sure don't lack courage. I hope you succeed in all you do.

Best Wishes

 

[quantumnal]

George10111 I can say that when I was 25 I was a homeless, suicidal, epic failure and had a daughter by then who I was an epic failure to. I don't know how any of us make it through our 20's, but I'm sure glad I didn't end my own life. There is hope for people like you and I, even if you have none right now.
By the time you are 50 you'll have 25 more years to live give or take, and that's 25 years from now. That's a lot of years of things you can't possibly imagine, like running into a girl in the grocery store that you fall in love with, or deciding your heart's desire, making it come true and seeing your parents smiling faces. To someone with your history, you're probably thinking oh god not another fifty years or more, but those years could be more amazing than anything you've ever even tried to daydream.

If your parents have talked this way about/to you your whole life it may explain why it's so hard for you to succeed, son. We tend to believe what our parents tell us and live that out. It's why so many of us are here on this forum seeking advice. You don't deserve that George. If they want you out so bad they need to be helping you devise a plan. You need some way to defer your debt for awhile, maybe bankruptcy? Not sure what kind of debt it is. A second job you could work? If it's a big enough debt and will take years for you to pay off something's gonna have to change. All things they can help you find/find out. Maybe if you went to them and said "I want to move out. Help me figure out how." they could stop grumbling long enough to help? Sorry to talk bad about your parents but that frustrates me to hear.

I'm kind of in your shoes myself. I've hurt my husband by being a borderline personality, and now he doesn't want much to do with me, but he's staying because he loves the Me he remembers. And it's incredibly painful to be rejected by him, and I don't think that he thinks I can change, like your parents feel about you. So I'm starting at square one, doing one single thing every day to get better, even if he doesn't believe in me anymore. It's brutally hard being alone and knowing you've hurt the ones you love. And depression like makes it really hard to do anything but crawl into a hole and disappear, but there is always one thing that can be done.

I'm hanging my head and getting humble, and taking a step a day. I wish I knew how to help you I would be happy to. Just know...you're not alone, and we are listening.

 

[George10111]

Quantumnal thanks for replying and I'm sorry to hear about all your life's difficulties. I hope you find peace and happiness and success in your life and goals.

With my parents is complicated. They've never really been abusive intentionally per se except maybe verbally. This is backed up by their parents having high expectations for them, and their grandkids, e.g. me and my siblings. What I mean by maybe verbally is, my whole life I've had a certain neurological condition. It was obvious to my teachers and all my classmates in school growing up, k-12. Haven't started college yet. Sounds like a nightmare. Anyway my parents tend to be condescending. I've been called a lazy slob my whole life, and sometimes stupid and a lot of it is from unrealistic expectations they've set for me and becoming disappointed. Luckily most of the time they're respectful but when they become rude it can have a much bigger impact then the good things they say, talk about killing ten birds with one stone. The way things are implied and said has an impact, and has on all my siblings I can tell.

I'm not trying to bash my parents because I love them to the grave but they've said some injurious things to all their kids at some point, which left a mark and had a profound effect on their life. Nobody is perfect but sometimes the mistakes you do make can do a lot more damage then you think, regardless of your intention. I wasn't going to share anything too personal but when we were kids my mom had said things before like, I'm going to drop you off somewhere far away and you can just be gone forever, just petty things like that. I know she didn't mean it but that doesn't mean no damage was done. I've forgiven my parents of all the things they said, especially since I've said things I shouldn't have said.

We're all human and we need to be humble. I work hard every day to give the stranger the benefit of the doubt. Anyway thanks again for taking the time to read and reply. Keep on keeping on and good luck out there!

 

[Boring]

george, i feel you have a lot to live for.