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A very consuming loneliness

S

Sanguinius

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2015
Messages
6
Location
Stockport, Manchester
I'll start by saying I suffer from both Bipolar Disorder and S.A.D so for me things right now are very emotionally intense. Last April my long term relationship of over 3 years ended with my girlfriend in very tense and negative reasons. Around the same time I was found to suffer from cluster headaches as well which caused me great deals of physical pain as well as emotional on top which led me to become violently angry and inconsolable for long periods of time where it put strain on friendships and family from my unpredictable behaviour. Those wounds haven't healed, and where I have come to terms with the loss of my relationship I have found I am lonelier than I have ever been even when Im surrounded by caring, loving people in my life. All I do is look around and think about how ahppy everyone else is with significant others and how I somehow I am wrong physically or in someway unwanted by people. I have had no woman take an interest in me since then and seeing all my friends find people and be happy has left me feeling so afraid of wanting to do things with them because I don't want to interfere int heir happy relationships while Im upset. I just feel so angry and jealous of them like, whats wrong with me? Why can't I find someone? I have no idea what to do, Ive tried online dating, Ive gone to different places to otry to meet new people and Im looked straight through. I really have no idea what to do now. I just want to run and run and run far away to somewhere and pretend Ive died. I'm ashamed of myself for feeling liek this and for feeling completely beta to everyone else out there. I just feel completely insignificant.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
Relationship break-ups are tough and it can take a long time to get over them. I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely in your life at the moment.

You say you have caring, loving people in your life. That is a real blessing. I'm not trying to say that you aren't entitled to feel lonely, but sometimes i've found it's easy to overlook what we have and instead focus too much on what we don't.
A romantic relationship is just one relationship in your life, after all.

How do you feel in terms of your self confidence? I wonder if maybe this is an issue? I could be wrong.

I know it's not easy but what's helped me is to focus on finding happiness in ways that don't involve a partner, and trying to do one nice thing for myself each day.
 
S

Sanguinius

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2015
Messages
6
Location
Stockport, Manchester
Relationship break-ups are tough and it can take a long time to get over them. I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely in your life at the moment.

You say you have caring, loving people in your life. That is a real blessing. I'm not trying to say that you aren't entitled to feel lonely, but sometimes i've found it's easy to overlook what we have and instead focus too much on what we don't.
A romantic relationship is just one relationship in your life, after all.

How do you feel in terms of your self confidence? I wonder if maybe this is an issue? I could be wrong.

I know it's not easy but what's helped me is to focus on finding happiness in ways that don't involve a partner, and trying to do one nice thing for myself each day.
Thank you. When I think about it logically I know I am well off for friends. When I look around though I do feel like I'm missing out. I don't do well being on my own. It most likely is a self confidence thing. You're probably right. But it's how to build it up in a concrete way I can fall back on I'm struggling to find.
 
S

SandalwoodSummer

Active member
Joined
Feb 24, 2015
Messages
37
I am single. I've accepted that the right person may come along one day, and that i will just have to be patient. This is how life is, mood swings, singleness, loneliness. I am on a dating site just to keep my options open.
 
S

Sanguinius

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2015
Messages
6
Location
Stockport, Manchester
I've taken this to heart. I always felt it a sign of weakness in myself if I did but I've bit the bullet and gone on a dating site myself now. It's actually helping with self confidence. I've started Anti-D's as well just to perk myself up as well now.
 
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