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A strange turn of events

C

chump

New member
Joined
Nov 1, 2009
Messages
3
Location
England
Hi so glad ive found this forum as most of the stuff ive read has been a big help.
I have just recently been diagnosed as having bipolar 2 and am having a mixed reaction from my partner . I have always known i am a bit odd and it has taken me 26 years to do anything about it she was very supportive at first and this was a real help to me as i was just coming out of a 2 month long depression unfortunatly in this time i have let everything go my business has failed i have run up debt and have lied about looking for work.

She has tryed to help me but i think her patience i wearing a bit thin . We have been together for 14 years and we have had many bad times in the past many of which i now know i am responsable for causing ( walking out of jobs ,moving house /citys/and unessasary poverty ) but bless her she has put up with everything .

Untill now. it seems to me that since i have been diagnosed she is trying to distance herself from me and for the first time in 14 yrs we have argued .
I cant blame her but just as i was coming out of my gloom ive been put back there . Perhaps she thinks that we are going to be stuck in this cycle of poverty perhaps she thinks that going out with a crazy man is a step to far i just dont know . Would love to know if anyone else has this problem and how you can get through it or maby im just wishing her away..:redface:
 
thing fish

thing fish

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 1, 2009
Messages
150
Location
ohio
i'm sorry man but i had the exact same problem.
i was married for five great years to what i thought was a wonderful woman. i got diagnosed with bipolar and put on meds and shortly after that she filed for divorce.
so i lost my wife, my house, my dog and a couple of my guitars.

being bipolar has ruined my life. i can't seem to get on my feet..

i hope it does not get that bad for you
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
Hi chump perhaps you need to give it time to settle and see whot the out come is since you have been together a long time take care best wishes JD
 
C

chump

New member
Joined
Nov 1, 2009
Messages
3
Location
England
hi thanks and sorry to hear about the bad things you have been through . i dont know if its just my paranoia that makes me think she is distancing herself from me as ive never been good at discussing my feelings but i supose what will be will be to be honest the way im down at the moment someone could burn my house down and i wouldnt care as long as i could sleep.:cry:
 
L

linni_t_mm

Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2009
Messages
13
Location
Midlands UK
hi thanks and sorry to hear about the bad things you have been through . i dont know if its just my paranoia that makes me think she is distancing herself from me as ive never been good at discussing my feelings but i supose what will be will be to be honest the way im down at the moment someone could burn my house down and i wouldnt care as long as i could sleep.:cry:
I go through that cycle on a regular basis, believing that my other half is going to leave me. Just remember that she has stuck by you. I know that when your down its very hard to do anything but be scared and paranoid but I always try to do something small to show him that behind the paranoia and crying i'm still there. obviously if you struggle talking about your emotions then talking is maybe not an option but even something tiny like running her a bath or leaving a note on the fridge. And most importantly don't act rashly, I left my boyfriend once, just before we moved in together because I was suffering alot of paranoia and although we got back together, I stil put us both through alot that could have been avoided if I'd not listened to the doubts. I really hope things go well.

xxx
 
E

EndOfTether

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2010
Messages
3
My wife is BP (but won't currently admit it, in itself a source of great concern), but I thought I'd give you the 'carer's' perspective ('coper' more like!) in case it helps at all.

Long story short: latest manic episode started in October 09, many months of putting up with reckless behaviour until in late December my wife agrees to come to GP with me where I say I think she has BP and she accepts being seen by the local mental health team.

And here's the rub: I feel initially relieved, but then she doesn't change immediately and I feel aggrieved - I have put up with so much shit during this manic phase and before that the months of patient support while she was depressed and suicidal. You just want it all to end and when I got a glimpse of hope but then STILL can't see where it will end, it is mightily deflating, and so instead of feeling relieved, I felt angry!

Consequence for me btw? My anger let slip, nothing more than a few "For God's sake, you have an illness, please accept that now". This is then perceived as abusive and threatening and now she is filing for divorce :( Even though she is now on meds (Seroquel, 300mg a day), she is holding onto the divorce line big-time.

Bottom line as I see it, Chump, is that your wife either is just plain-old freaked by the 'mental illness' diagnosis or like me, was desperate for medical intervention and held an unrealistic expectation that a simple diagnosis would make everything immediately better and when it didn't, she was angry and frustrated?
 
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