A question on Psychosis.

[AuroraBlues]

Hello,

I've always been lead to believe (maybe somewhat naively). That when you suffer from Psychosis, you don't actually know you are suffering from Psychosis. That the person doesn't have any clarity about what's happening to them untill intervention.

To all of you who suffered your first break, whether it was in your early to late teens or not untill you were older. Did you have any idea? Although your experiences where incredibly real to you, did you have any moment of clarity? Like, 'i don't think somethings right here'

Do you think that suffering a psychotic break when you are younger, makes you less aware then say, suffering your first break in your late 20's, 30's or 40's?

I'd love to hear peoples opinions on this.

Aurora

 

[Apotheosis]

They do say that the truly Insane have no idea that they are insane, & paradoxically; that when you know you mad, then your not mad, because by the nature of realising your own insanity means that you can't be.

During each of the psychotic breakdowns I have had - I have believed I was totally sane. Although I appear to be very good at gaining a high degree of insight, after the event.

In a certain way; over the years, the breakdowns I had were progressively worse. I went through 7 such major episodes, each lasting a few months, & maybe around a year with initial build up & initial recovery.

What I do think is different as you age; is the reaction of yourself to such experiences; & to a degree the reactions of those around you. Initially, at 17, when first unwell, I had a very powerful fear reaction to it all. My behaviour was also very extreme. The last 3 times I was unwell, I did not react in quite the same way, the way I reacted with behaviour was totally different, & calmer, & consequently I avoided hospital on those last 3 occasions, despite them being the worst episodes that I had, especially in the way that I was feeling. I also think that the people around us get more used to these states as well.

I suppose that there can be far more acceptance the older that you get, & a general level of life experience to deal with what is happening differently. It is possible I think, under the right circumstances, & with the right support, to find a healthier way through such extreme states.

Psychosis appears to be like a mirror, how people react & respond to it, influences the state directly, especially the reactions of those people closest to these experiences who are around the person suffering such a state of mind. If reacted to with anger, fear, control, & coercion; then I think that the psychosed person will often respond in kind.

 

[electricsheep]

For me I have had many episodes -sometimes I know and at other times not. I think for me it is "Fight or Flight" and I have always chosen flight. There is always a degree of insight even with the Catch22 (If you think you are insane then you can't be). My flight impulse always took me back o a place of safety. After 20 years I have now adapted my life t manage and can spot the triggers of an episode. Having said that I have just spent the last few months depressed but this is ue to social circumstance with a degree of illness. I hate the med but still take them.

I have spoken to many people with MH and there are patterns and triggers -but still MH is very muh the c'cinderella ' of the medical world and the professionals only kow as much as the users.

My episodes have always been frightening and parnoid so if I had chosen fight I probably wouldn't be here now!!

Sheep x

 

[AuroraBlues]

Hello Apotheosis and Sheep.

Thank you for your very informative replies

I'm not Schizophrenic, but Psychosis was added to my list of labels in Septemeber this year. My older Brother is Schizophrenic, diagnosed when he was 17 and never quite gotten over it My dear Nan also suffered from Bipolar Disorder her whole life. I'll discuss this another time.

I'm 30 years old. In the past 3 years i've experienced things that the medical world and most of society would deem 'not the norm'. Things such as whispers, shadows following me (not my own these have depth and look like people) paranoia (people reading my mind, hearing conversations of people saying derogatory things about me) Intrusive flashes of me doing horrible things to myself and others in the first person (which i believe are submitted into my mind from the TV). They would happen in very brief intense spells, no longer then a few days, and i would get totally caught up in it. But always come out the otherside push it aside and get on with my life.

Flashforward to Septemeber this year. These experiences where becoming more intense and longer, and i was quite scared. I seemed to have come out the other end again and i reached out for help. Was told i am sufferring from 'some sort of psychosis' put on Risperidone and Zopiclone to help me sleep, had the home team for 2 weeks, took an OD then was in hospital for 3 weeks.

On Discharge, Risperidone was stopped, so was Zopiclone. I was already on Citalopram so they kept me on this.

The last 3 weeks have been quite hellish. It's like i'm on a very long bad trip, totally sucked into another world, but with my trip buddy saying, hey it's not real, me calming down for a bit, them BAM, straight back into it.

I decided that i needed to try and listen to the whispers, they probably want to tell me something. What i heard has chilled me to the core. I now believe they are after me because of what i overheard.

The last couple of days have been quiet but i'm filled with a forboding sense of doom. I'm quite frankly petrified.

The thing that i am struggling with the most is the fact that it's so so real. But, a part of me is thinking, this is not totally logical. It's like my right and left brain are in an ultimate battle to the death.

I guess this was the pretense to my OP.

A part of me knows this is not quite right, so am i really suffering from psychosis? (This is more of a statement then a question, i don't expect anyone to know the answer)

Aurora

 

[electricsheep]

Not an expert or professional Aurora just a person with 20 yearsexperience of MH. What yo say really resonates with me as I have experienced much of what you say the fears, paranoia and voices - for me I had to identify the triggers. For me it was the use of drugs (SKUNK defo). and STRESS. So now I manage my life as stress free as possible and not taking street drugs. The meds they prescribe are only part of recovery time and TAKE IT EASY. Hope this helps.

PS - Booze affects the efficacy of the meds they prescribe annd Zopiclone is a horrible zombie drug.

Take care,

SHEEP