N
nevaeh
Member
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2008
- Messages
- 21
Hi I am new to this Forum.
Around this time last year I had a very public psychotic breakdown I went into hospital for a month. Alot of what happened to me leading up to the breakdown has been made known, and consequently I have been laughed at and called names mocked and talked about. I feel crushed and downtrodden
I used to love to dance and have done so all my life now I cant bear to do anything. I avoid people as I have been hurt by them. I used to be quite an outgoing articulate person now i find myself struggling to string a few sentences together. My conversational skills have languished. My memory is poor. My friends bar a few have deserted me. I feel foolish for ending up unwell and even more so that everybody knows what happened to me. Most days I am so low I don't even want to get out of bed. Life seems pointless and I have thought about suicide many times. I am on anti depressants but they don't seem to be working.
Mostly I spend my time thinking about how my life was before I became unwell and how happy and full of life I was. Even if I was to return to the dance scene I feel so ashamed of my past I would be unable to keep my eyes off the floor I used to be a semi professional and quite known for my talent and I am afraid I will never be as good as that again, That i would be just a washed up has been. I am afraid of everything even the thought of going out side. I am due to start back at uni in september and I am also afraid of how im going to cope on my own how on earth I will be able to get through my essays and exams. I am also uneasy as Im going into the second year about making new friends as everyone will already know each other.
Please can anyone help me get the shine back into my dull life.
Around this time last year I had a very public psychotic breakdown I went into hospital for a month. Alot of what happened to me leading up to the breakdown has been made known, and consequently I have been laughed at and called names mocked and talked about. I feel crushed and downtrodden
I used to love to dance and have done so all my life now I cant bear to do anything. I avoid people as I have been hurt by them. I used to be quite an outgoing articulate person now i find myself struggling to string a few sentences together. My conversational skills have languished. My memory is poor. My friends bar a few have deserted me. I feel foolish for ending up unwell and even more so that everybody knows what happened to me. Most days I am so low I don't even want to get out of bed. Life seems pointless and I have thought about suicide many times. I am on anti depressants but they don't seem to be working.
Mostly I spend my time thinking about how my life was before I became unwell and how happy and full of life I was. Even if I was to return to the dance scene I feel so ashamed of my past I would be unable to keep my eyes off the floor I used to be a semi professional and quite known for my talent and I am afraid I will never be as good as that again, That i would be just a washed up has been. I am afraid of everything even the thought of going out side. I am due to start back at uni in september and I am also afraid of how im going to cope on my own how on earth I will be able to get through my essays and exams. I am also uneasy as Im going into the second year about making new friends as everyone will already know each other.
Please can anyone help me get the shine back into my dull life.