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A prisoner in your own head?



May 31, 2018
Hi, everyone.

I don't know about you, but for the longest time I have felt like a prisoner inside my own head, and it's like no matter how hard I try or what I do - I can't seem to shake this feeling of being a prisoner inside my mind. Don't get me wrong, I do get those moments where it's pure bliss and I'm finally relaxed - but those moments are so rare, I'm constantly in my head, my anxiety is at the top of it's level it can possibly reach and never seems to come down unless I am asleep. It can be exhausting to say the least. There could be days where I am so busy it's too difficult to have racing thoughts or focus on negativity, however, even on those busy days I am aware it's in the background waiting to get to the front stage and there could be times where I feel like my mind has just detached itself from my body and I'm out here just doing things I need to do and go about my day all the meanwhile "floating" and sometimes it just decides to push through and force itself to be at the centre of my attention, or I will have a constant battle with it in my head and I guess I get lucky if I win, which again, is very rare.

So, if you feel like this relates to you, I want you to know you're not alone. It is tiring, it is mentally draining, it is pure turmoil and just overall a pile of unwanted sh*t that we need in our lives. But, I want you to understand it's okay if you feel broken, if you feel like you're a prisoner in your mind, if you feel like it's the end for you and you have zero motivation or energy today to fight with it, it's okay to feel down and out, it's okay to do nothing about it, it's okay to have a breakdown and cry over it. All of it is okay. All of this is natural to feel and normal because it's your bodies way of protecting you, whether you're dealing with depression or anxiety or whatever it may be, your body is designed to take care of you. So when your mind is suffering with anxiety or depression, pay attention to it and try not to fight it so much, it only wants you to hear it so you can fix it - whether that may be with therapy, medication or simply just a chat to a friend to open up about what may be bothering you in life.

I learned one of the most important things today after going to therapy and that was just to let my body do what it's supposed to do. Let my mind race with thoughts, don't fight it. Let my mind detach itself from my body while I float around doing what I have to do. Let myself cry in the shop. Let my body just take over and stop fighting it so much because that's exactly why I'm so tired. If my body wants to be anxious about something, let it just happen because the more I fight it the more anxious I get and eventually have a panic attack. Our bodies are made for this, our bodies are just doing what they're supposed to be doing - living and feeling. Why fight it? Everything comes to an end - a panic attack will end, the crying will end, the racing thoughts will end, and this day? This day will end too.
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