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A point of madness in a viscous cycle-BPD

B

Babysteps

New member
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
1
If you suffer with all the pain and confusion of borderline personality disorder then hopefully you can relate to this..
I spent 5 and a half years undiagnosed and only in the past 6 months after a completely useless stay in a psychiatric ward, was I finally given a diagnosis that fit! Now the weight is lifted knowing that all the things going on that I couldn’t explain, were infact just very obvious symptoms. So fast forward to now and living with BPD I’ve hit bottom once again...

I’m tired of being told that I’ll be okay when I feel like the world is crushing me.
I’m tired of fighting with myself to self harm or worse.
I’m tired of people leaving me because I’m hard work or not good enough.
I’m tired of being scared to speak up in case I seem stupid or I’m over reacting.
I’m tired of doing well with my life to still feel like everything’s going wrong.
Im tired of feeling like I’m loosing my mind, not knowing what’s real or not.
I’m so tired of being tired, and yet all I can do is sleep...

Everything around me is happy and great.. so why do I feel so messed up??..
Please tell me I’m not the only one that feels sucked into the black abyss of BPD with no clue how to escape safely..?
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,242
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi and welcome
you are very welcome here
i have BPD too-i especially relate to the part you say about self harm and people leaving

its a terrible illness to have to endure but believe me you are not alone
many of us on here suffer with it and im sure you get lots of support here
love from fairy lu x
 
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