• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

A Penny Drops...

R

RedDuke

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2009
Messages
3
Good Afternoon Everyone,

I've just signed up to this forum following a couple of weeks of anxiety about a long and currently undiagnosed condition that I have suffered from, on and off, for the past ten years or so. In that period, the diagnostic direction had been in neurology, concentrating on the possibility of MS as my symptoms of extreme fatigue, fogginess, lack of focus, and general all over aches and pains and poor coordination, comes and goes in bursts which appeared to fit the relapse/remission pattern of MS.

Something completely overlooked, possibly deliberately on my part I don't know, was my own mental health. I do indeed have phases of extraordinary creativity, where I completely lose myself in art - whether it be photography, fine art pencil drawing, or general web design. I have an energy that I can't quite focus as I want to do so much, I find I don't have the time to fit it all in. During these periods, I also have the physical energy to get my domestic chores done, including bursts of activity in much often neglected and weedy garden.

On the flipside, I get tired very quickly, get very critical to criticism, feel like I am not well understood, and will generally be distracted and lost in thought - although I really can't pinpoint what it is I'm thinking about - it seems to be a fuzzy haze of everything and nothing, without any clear focus.

What does appear consistent is my overwhelming desire to get out of the house almost as soon as I get out of bed - the desperate need to get some air and clear my head with a walk in to town - I wake up foggy, in desperate need to clear it - I find it works.

I did not, and do not, want to even entertain the notion that I am possibly Bipolar, but I can't escape it. I've avoided the whole subject until very recently - my late mum was bipolar. I'm also left-handed, and as I understand it, lefties are possibly prone.

I took a few online questionnaires last night - put in my answers with slightly varying degrees of honesty, but even my most conservative answers nudged me over the threshold for being bipolar.

I appreciate fully that any responses given cannot be used as any form of diagnosis, but would very much like to hear from anyone who has experienced similar symptoms to the ones I've indicated above.

Sorry for rambling on!

M
 
Fartoolong

Fartoolong

Member
Joined
Aug 10, 2009
Messages
22
Location
London
Hi Reduke.

I feel like I could have written your post for you as I tend to feel VERY similar to you.
I'm also incredibly scared and apprehensive at the thought of being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, but then on the flip side, I think 'at least it offers some answers to my sometimes manic behaviour'

Have you considered talking to your doctor about it?

I am no expert, but surely if you do have it, it would be better to know right? Then at least you can get some treatment for it and make it more manageable.

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow for a regular Eating disorder check up, and i'm going to discuss this with her. I've got to the stage where I am so confused as to how to control my moods and emotions, and am becoming increasingly more paranoid, depressed and lost.

Well done on your self revelation. You know the next step to follow.. :)

Lx
 
intelgal

intelgal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
1,413
Location
Yorkshire
Hello,

Firstly welcome to the forum, Its good to have you here.

You certainly seem as though you going through things at the moment .

My only warning is that online questionaires can be very misleading...

Have you seen a GP or psychiatrist as nothing can replace these for diagnosis.

Here is a good place for support though .. some find it helpful to keep a journal to write down thoughts and feelings.

Take care
Intel
 
R

RedDuke

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2009
Messages
3
Hi L,

Thanks for posting - the last time I saw my GP she did conclude a possible mental health issue given that all the neurological tests came back inconclusive - the only thing being flagged as possibly of borderline significance were a few spots of possible demyelination. I must admit to feeling rather outraged at the time at the suggestion... denial, I realise.

It's gone on for years now, so yes, even a diagnosis I don't want to hear is going to pull me out of this state-of-limbo I've been in... I agree, it would certainly be better to know once and for all what I'm dealing with... only then I can make the necessary provisions and adaptations.

I am rarely scared of anything... but this does scare me rigid.


M
 
R

RedDuke

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2009
Messages
3
Hi Intel,

Thanks for the welcome and advice - Within the next day or so, I will steel myself to make an appointment with my GP - I know it has to be done.

M
 
intelgal

intelgal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
1,413
Location
Yorkshire
Seems a good plan Red duke...

in the mean time keep posting and let us know how you get on

Intel
 
C

chaostheory

New member
Joined
Aug 17, 2009
Messages
1
Location
Tooting, South London, UK
please don't be so scared... a diagnosis is nothing more than a label, you already have a good understanding of your experiences - if you're coping with them then the label will add nothing, and if you're not then at least it will enable access to some support. be wary of psychiatrists and their advice, medication doesn't 'treat' mental illness and it comes with side effects. use it if things are unbearable without it, but educate yourself on it first. and remember that you are the only expert on your own experiences, don't let a doctor tell you what you "have" or how to deal with it. you know how you feel, keep communicating with people who understand and recognise your experiences. take care and i wish you all the best xx
 
Top