- Jun 1, 2019
I just avoid talking as much as I can; just a constant loop of I don't want to talk, I don't want to talk going around in my head. I phoned the Samaritans last week and she was lovely and it really helped. I feel bad about doing that though. Last night I felt please don't let me wake up. I'm not sure where to go from here. I only feel okay when I am in a relationship; its like taking a breath. I don't feel interested in things when I'm not in one and then when in one my level of interest is not great. I just don't know where to go from here. I avoid people; I am not enough, I don't have the desire to talk enough; I don't feel this life. At the moment I feel just all black inside and can't keep up a pretence so just avoiding people. I feel I don't know how to do this life and my mind flips and says take an OD or other things. Twice today I nearly walked out of my job. Just feel alone with this I try and sit down to do things like read and I feel like why am I doing this. I don't know if peple can relate.