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A husband who needs help

R

redshift

New member
Joined
Oct 5, 2021
Messages
3
Location
USA
Hello.

I just signed up on this forum because I am looking for help on how I can help my wife. We have been together for 10 years, and I early on in our relationship she was diagnosed with PTSD basically from childhood neglect but she was also sexually assaulted as an adult. She was never really treated for it, other than trying out some antidepressants which usually ended up with intrusive suicidal thoughts. She seemed to be doing okay with me taking care of her and helping her with her anxiety, but the past few months things have changed.

We live in a house surrounded by a few acres of woods, but she has started becoming extremely paranoid about our neighbors constantly watching and listening. They are a little nosey and can be loud about it, but it is to the point where she believes they are always watching her after I leave for work, and that they are outside our house at night listening to us, and that she can hear them repeating our words and taunting us. I have tried reasoning with her but it only makes her upset that I do not believe her. I can't force her to get help, but I would really appreciate some advice here. I don't know what to do.
 
B

Bobby B

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Sep 7, 2021
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298
Location
Middlesbrough. England.
Hi welcome. In my opinion the best way to help your wife is to get to sign up to the forum, if she reluctant to try and get her to have a look at the different threads. It may encourage her to sign up.
She very lucky to have a caring husband!
 
Bod

Bod

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Jul 19, 2021
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7,794
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Pretty Good
Welcome to the forum, I am sorry your wife is struggling and do agree with Bobby B above saying maybe ask your wife to join here as it could really help her to see others understand her feelings and thoughts.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Oct 21, 2013
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A comet
Hello redshift, welcome to the forum. I hope you are able to get the help you need for your wife.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Location
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Has anything else happened in the last few months, any big or new events of any kind? Is she feeling stressed, is she getting out, etc?
 
R

redshift

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Oct 5, 2021
Messages
3
Location
USA
Thanks for the support.

Has anything else happened in the last few months, any big or new events of any kind? Is she feeling stressed, is she getting out, etc?
It's certainly possible that she has been harassed a little bit by one of our neighbors, a loud meat head who may also have tried stealing her cannabis plants a year ago. But given the delusional level of paranoia she is showing now I don't know if those events really happened.

She has a history of suffering from male sexual aggression. I don't know if these nosey neighbors are triggering her to this state, certainly hearing them occasionally talk loudly about us might. But I don't know how to get her out of this extreme state.

I am considering trying to get in touch with her doctor, I have been trying for years to encourage her to get help from a psychiatrist or counselor. She has always used cannabis/marijuana with no psychotic issues but maybe it is now contributing.

She was followed by someone at a department store a few days ago, I think it was just a plainclothes security person. But it pushed her over the edge. She was hearing things before that happened though.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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England
Yeah I think getting in touch with her doctor sounds like a good thing to do, because as you say, it sounds potentially suggestive of delusions and they can't left to fester. You also don't know what she's doing when you're not around, so best speaking to a doc.
 
R

redshift

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Oct 5, 2021
Messages
3
Location
USA
It has been a couple days. I have not gotten in touch with her doctor yet, I wanted to see if some rest would help her calm down a bit. Talking with my wife more this evening, it seems like she is associating being watched with three distinct voices, none of which I have heard when she claims to have heard them when I was around. She has also put curtains up over most windows to prevent these neighbors from watching us through them. These seem like clear signs of a developing mental illness, possibly even schizophrenia. It is strange to be typing this to people on the internet.

I would put this thread somewhere else if I knew exactly where to put it.
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

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Mar 29, 2021
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Location
Tirana
It has been a couple days. I have not gotten in touch with her doctor yet, I wanted to see if some rest would help her calm down a bit. Talking with my wife more this evening, it seems like she is associating being watched with three distinct voices, none of which I have heard when she claims to have heard them when I was around. She has also put curtains up over most windows to prevent these neighbors from watching us through them. These seem like clear signs of a developing mental illness, possibly even schizophrenia. It is strange to be typing this to people on the internet.

I would put this thread somewhere else if I knew exactly where to put it.
It's fine just saying it here. Very sorry to hear what your both going through.

She must see a doctor - it would probably help if you go with her. Are you in UK? The charity Mind should have a weekly group meeting somewhere not too far away.

Check for old threads here on delusional disorder and schitzophrenia. You may find some useful information. Use the search icon function
 
S

Siegfried

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
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278
Location
.
Yeah that level of paranoiac delusion immediately raises warnings about this being something beyond just "regular" anxiety caused by trauma.

The fact that she's hearing voices all but confirms it.

I think it would be wise to start consulting your local laws about a possible internment in a mental healthcare facility, I'm not necessarily referring to something permanent but perhaps just so she can be put on enough medication to make her a rational individual once again and start to make choices regarding treatment on her own.

I imagine it must be really difficult to think about these things regarding a spouse but its for her own good, these things just don't go away on their own. Also for your own good, growing up for some time I had to live with a paranoid schizophrenic not under control and at a certain point I ended up sleeping with a knife under my pillow because I feared for my life, don't allow the situation to get to that point, it could very well end up destroying your marriage.
 
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