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A hangup of mine

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Stevencc

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Jul 15, 2009
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29
Location
London, England
I'm not sure if this is the right place but Ill give it a go.

I have been told that I have some hangups that I need to change.

Number one is that I HATE reality tv shows with such a passion that I tend to offend a lot of people. I always assume that the people that appear in or participate in the viewing of them are in some way useless and less-than-intelligent. It really consumes me, to the point that I have banned my girlfriend from watching any such programs and jump up to change the channel if they come on the television. Do you think this is problematic?

Number two is that I am obsessed with my girlfriends past. She has had a few sexual partners, like most people I suppose, but I just can't stop thinking about her past relationships. She used to dress provocatively and go out clubbing etc and for some reason whenever I think about this my blood runs cold and I withdraw into myself.

She has also discussed watching pornography in the past and this makes me feel physically sick and again I withdraw. The paradox here is that I watch pornography but don't see a problem with it when I watch it.

Can someone try to explain as this really consumes me.

Thanks
 
Cal

Cal

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Apr 14, 2008
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i think a lot of people hate reality tv shows :p i guess they're one of those love them or hate them things. Are the issues with your girlfriend to do with a bit of jealousy or is it something else like does it make you feel a bit insecure (neither are uncommon) ? I'm not sure about the porn thing but maybe it has to do with common perceptions and stereotypes of pornography being a strictly male thing. I think maybe these are things you have to work on becoming more tolerant about and that's easier said than done and can take a long time but you could try to find a middle ground, for example with the reality tv thing maybe let your girlfriend watch them but you set that time to do something else.
 
Emily-Rose

Emily-Rose

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Jul 7, 2009
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159
*hugs*

Yeah I agree with Cal exactly.

I don't know if it's related, but when I think about my boyfriends past girlfriends it drives me sick. It also makes me feel like he doesn't love me, and he loves them. When I think about it, it's almost real to me, as if he is having sexual relationships with them at the same time as me (which I know he isn't). But it makes me sick and I can't block out these thinkings sometimes.

Emily.x
 
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Stevencc

Active member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
29
Location
London, England
Thanks for your replies.

I honestly can't tell why I hate these things so much but they consume me to such an extent that I am often up until the early hours of the morning searching the internet for bad things my girlfriend may have done in her past and Im ruining our relationship.

I know the past should be the past but I can't just turn off these stupid feelings I have, no matter how much I'd love to.

It takes up all my time.
 
Cal

Cal

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339
Location
South West Scotland
It's not about turning these things off just cooling them down gradually in a more natural way (i'd say the easiest to start with would be the tv thing because that's not as serious as the others, maybe start by rather than jumping up and switching over, just asking to switch over or just saying something along the lines of 'i really don't like these shows so i'm sorry but i'm going to have to switch over') good luck and every journey starts with a single step :D (cliche, i know :redface:)
 
S

Stevencc

Active member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
29
Location
London, England
It's not about turning these things off just cooling them down gradually in a more natural way (i'd say the easiest to start with would be the tv thing because that's not as serious as the others, maybe start by rather than jumping up and switching over, just asking to switch over or just saying something along the lines of 'i really don't like these shows so i'm sorry but i'm going to have to switch over') good luck and every journey starts with a single step :D (cliche, i know :redface:)
Don't worry I like cliches! Cliches only become cliches because they are true, most of the time.

I suppose I should stop viewing these problems as monumental blockades in my life and try and break them down as you suggest.

Thanks
 
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