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A friend, I've not spoke to in years, has been diagnosed with non curable cancer.. Advice please



Well-known member
Apr 23, 2012
I was on fb and checked an old friend, we used to he friends but haven't spoke in about 6 years. We weren't close but we did have a few deep conversations. I am surprised by how I feel. I wasn't expecting it to hit me in the way that it has. She is young and has been through a lot. I have already donated to her just giving page but I was thinking about sending her a message but I have no idea what to say. Does anyone have any suggestions? Do I let her know that I have been thinking about her after finding out about her cancer diagnosis? Any advice would be appreciated. Tia


Well-known member
Jul 8, 2019
I would keep that brief and breezy
' hi there , sorry to hear you are not well
would love to be in touch again
drop me a message '

and be prepared that she might not want to take you up on it

old friends often don't


Well-known member
Mar 13, 2021
United States
I think it would be a great idea to message her! Just letting her know you care will probably mean a lot. Even if you two don't ultimately end up reconnecting, it's nice to let her know there is always the possibility.


Mar 10, 2021
Sounds like a lovely idea. If they don't reconnect it could likely be that family, friends, treatment etc are understandably monopolising their time.

I still think, it always makes us feel good to know someone is thinking of us and that we meant enough in their life at one time that has made them remember us. I imagine facing terminal illness that would mean a great deal to her. Lots of people are scared of being forgotten I think.

Oh and maybe let her know with something along the lines of, you were thinking of her recently and was sorry to read about her cancer when you checked her fb to see how she was doing.

That's just my opinion anyway ☺


Well-known member
Oct 27, 2020
Orleans vermont.
I would message her and chat a little if she feels like it. Another thing to remember is when someone is dieing they may push people away so as to not hurt you when the day comes. There are so many reasons she may not respond so dont take it personally. If it were me just knowing you thought of me would be a huge moral boost.
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