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A delusion or a cruel love?

F

Frigoxxx

Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2018
Messages
23
Location
Guelph, ON
I’d like to open up about an experience that I had. There was this one girl in my Nursing program, her name will be kept a secret, but she was “alright”. I started talking to her at almost the end of my 2nd semester in Nursing. Everything was going well, we were getting along well, I was interested in her and she seemed to be interested in me, but my “pure” intention was to get laid, I call it pure because I had no intention of hurting her. What really captivated me was her Instagram page, she was a gamer, just like me. I played WoW (World of Warcraft) and was a major geek, coincidently enough so was she and she was also a Virgo, just like me, all these coincidences created these funny feelings in me, which were a precursor to love. She was also Filipina (I don’t know if this matters but I thought I’d add this even if it sounds immoral.) She was Asian, which I really liked since I had always had an obsession over Asian girls due to my hobbies such as anime watching and manga reading and well oh well we talked a lot. We would talk everyday which built the “delusion” in my head that she was my girlfriend. (I don’t know if this is a delusion or not since I could never ask her myself if we were anything more than “friends”, if we were friends even, but based on what happened, which will be explained after, it seemed that she was not my girlfriend) so we proceeded to talk daily until the day where she flipped at me happened. She “insulted” me, and told me that she “doesn’t have a d*** for me to s*** on” which made me think that she was calling me “gay”. It came out of nowhere, and from a girl like that any guy would feel insecure so what I did was pretty evil (if she happened to be my girlfriend, which it seemed that she was not). What I did was go out partying with friends and hook up with a bunch of random girls, It was an easy task to do so, since I was 6’8, built and tanned. After the fact I proceeded to get back to talking to her and found myself falling deeply in love with her, a love that I have never felt before, it was an obsessive and cruel kind of love. After having some trouble distinguishing what was what, because of the mental issues that I was having, I saw this kind of “guide” on Facebook that was telling me that what SHE wanted was for me to tell her that I loved her and that she wanted to marry me, so I proceeded to ask her friend if she wanted to marry me, to which I go a straight “No” in reply, I also proceeded to tell her that “I love her” just like that, I confessed my love to her, which at the time seemed pure, since I have never felt like that for anyone else and have never met anyone like her. All this caused her to block me off Facebook, and not only that, I tried making new account (multiple) and talk to her again, explaining what I was going through which at the time seemed to be Psychosis, and that if she could help me out because I was in need of major help distinguishing what was real about her and me and what happened and what was not, in which I just got a no reply and another block. It’s been 4 years, and I have tried multiple times talking to her, now the questions are.

Will she ever talk to me again?

Did I do anything to her so that she would not talk to me ever again?

WHAT HAPPENED!?

Thanks for your time and for your input.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Frigo, I hate to say it but we live and learn the hard way. It's been four years and you seem to need closure but often relationships end without any closure. If you mentioned psychosis to her, that probably didn't help. Did you tell her that you love her on the facebook ?? If so, that was also not a smooth move.
 
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