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A Day in the Life of Hegesias

Hegesias

Hegesias

Member
Joined
May 16, 2015
Messages
6
I awake groggy; it's dark. I look at my window and see the full moon shining radiantly on the empty street. A few taxis sit across the road. The world is asleep.

I get up, shower and trim my beard. Get dressed; silk underwear, Egyptian cotton socks, Nautica chinos, Ralph Laurent shirt. Which watch? I reach for my Omega Seamaster; wind the crown, set the time and date.

Downstairs to the garage and I get in my black on black Mercedes CL63 AMG. Check the rear view mirror. Nothing. I race off into the night, the engine roaring like an angry leopard.

On the freeway now and I'm wary of cops. We don't get along. Open the centre console and grab a Marlboro. Turn on the stereo - Doctor Octagon.

Where am I going? I don't know. I never know. Where are any of us really going?

I'm hungry. Breakfast time. At 2AM? Damn! I wanted Bircher muesli with almond milk followed by two poached eggs and some Turkish coffee. Guess I'll have to settle for...for what? McDonalds? Hell no! I'm off to the city to the 24 hour cafe on Broadway.

I take the next turn at breakneck speed; drifting, the tyres screeching. Downshift to first and I literally hit warp speed. The G-forces pull me back against the seat. A startled taxi driver looks at me like I'm insane. I guess I am.

I hit downtown around 3AM. A few hookers lurk in the shadows. A couple of taxi drivers. A crazy homeless guy shuffles past draped in a dirty sleeping bag.

Park; get out. Put on my Marcs Cashmere Navy sweater. Another smoke and I walk up Broadway past knocked over garbage cans, vomit, broken bottles and old newspapers, all illuminated by the soft neon lights. Nothing on the road but taxis.

I go into the cafe hoping for a pretty attendant to flirt with. Nada. It's that old Greek guy. He takes my order without making eye contact once. No thank you. Nothing. I've had better service from a machine.

I eat breakfast; fast and head back to my car. I download a right-wing American talkback radio show and listen to what a Communist Obama is and how the libs are destroying us from within. A bit cliched but I wouldn't argue with the sentiment.

Where will I go? What will I do?

I need a drink. Well, I don't really but I can't think of what else to do. The Casino? Too many bright lights. But maybe they'll be some women there. At this time? Damn! What the hell am I going to do?

Bastard! A taxi cuts me off. I brake hard to avoid a collision. Thoughts of revenge briefly flit through my head like mice on a treadmill. No, that's crazy. Don't throw a beer bottle at the taxi. Just forget it.

In a moment it is forgotten and I'm flying down Piermont Street at 110; the cool night air blowing in my face. What to do? Where to go?

I look at my watch. Nearly 6AM. They'll be people now. I head South on 41 and park at Trenton near the station. Early birds hurry along the sidewalk with coffee and newspapers towards the station. I hang around the station for a while looking for women. I'm not in the mood for approaching them but I get a kick out of making eye contact and getting a smile.

Maybe I'll go over to the university and see if I can pick up a nice student? Crazy talk. I remember the track marks on my arm; the smell of desperation that's so hard to hide. Head up, chest out, slow and calm movements. Don't fidget. Smile. When you talk to her act like you don't care. Take it or leave it. Don't say anything that could be construed as trying to impress. You're the prize, not her. She has to impress you.

The sports support on your elbow? Huh? That looks suspicious. Why are you wearing that? I don't want to go through all that again. I head back to the car dejected. Drive home. Internet porn; coffee; duck pate, olives, labne with zatar, Greek yogurt with figs. I'm a man of refinement. I'm not a loser.

Nietzsche. Again. Nothing matters. We'll all be dead soon anyway. Sleep. Oblivion.
 
Last edited:
G

Gredge23

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2015
Messages
1,062
Location
Ireland
Nice insight into what it's like for u! Well done for not flingin the bottle at that taxi driver u we'd have got arrested and lost ur chance at freedom for a few hours and ur chance at mating with a fine lass
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Thanks for sharing and giving us a day in your life. Found it really interesting..
It's great to write things down, I enjoy keeping a journal.

If you met someone who cared for you, I'm sure the track marks wouldn't matter as much as you perhaps think...we all have a history and have done regretful things...a lot of people do understand that...
 
Hegesias

Hegesias

Member
Joined
May 16, 2015
Messages
6
Thanks unique1. But in order for someone to care an emotional intimacy has to be built up. That takes a long time. I can't get past a few dates before suspicion causes the bird to fly. Besides, it's all pointless anyway as I'm a very sick man now. I have a very serious illness and should not be fixated on women. But I can't help it.
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Thanks unique1. But in order for someone to care an emotional intimacy has to be built up. That takes a long time. I can't get past a few dates before suspicion causes the bird to fly. Besides, it's all pointless anyway as I'm a very sick man now. I have a very serious illness and should not be fixated on women. But I can't help it.
Sorry to hear about your illness!
The operation may work..

IMO never say never...
although I guess I'm getting the feeling that you feel it's all much more complex...
All the same, hope you keep posting and giving us more insights...and letting us know how you are doing..that would be great !
 
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