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A certain memory haunts my unconscious dreams

wishiwuzthar

wishiwuzthar

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Jan 2, 2008
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Central E. Coast, US
How can a lost relationship, over 25 years ago; still make its way into my dreams? This is the familiar story, "the one girl that got away.".
In 1973, her father passed away suddenly, after all was said & done; her mother whisked her away hundreds of miles away.
Would have, should have, & worse yet; could have. I could have picked my life up & moved near her, but I was quite young & had no confidence in myself that I would survive so far from home.
So last night, she "Jane" haunts my dream, we are together, she accepts me into her life & I am overjoyed. And, then I awaken, I am so depressed, the elation gone. All this, even though I am happily married. There is no way I can discuss this w/ my wife.
So friends, anyone know how I can escape my specialized "morning after" dream-related depression?
What can I think of to ease my 25 year old heartbreak?
I thank you for any aid you can give me.
 
daffy

daffy

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We cant control what we dream. It would be really nice if we could.

Its pretty obvious that you had strong feelings for the girl, but if it was really meant to be you would have contacted her. You could have written and so could she. Just try to think of it as a wonderful era in your life, as opposed to 'the one that got away' Im not saying that the dreams will stop but if you try to think of the past relationship as over and done with you may not be so upset about your dreams.

I do realise its easier said than done. I have nightmares about my ex even tho its 18 years since we split and he died a couple of years ago. He was very violent and controlling, and although consciously I never think about him, he regularly apears in nightmares.

I think you are right in not telling your wife. I ant se what good can come of it. I dont think you would like it if she told you she was dreaming of her ex
 
wishiwuzthar

wishiwuzthar

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Jan 2, 2008
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Central E. Coast, US
a simple prayer my mother taught me

I hope no one gets ticked off should I post a prayer in this forum.
Please understand, I am not on a soapbox; & am not selling anything.
My sole aim is that someone could benefit from it.
I thank you for your indulgence! So, here it is:
say aloud "I rebuke this thought in the name of Jesus Christ."
That's it, though it has to be said aloud, for some unknown reason. Anyone know why it must be said aloud?
 
D

Dollit

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It's like any affirmation, it has to be said aloud so you can hear yourself saying it. Things are more powerful if they're heard.

The great love in my life and I never got together for some simple reasons, and I wouldn't have felt comfortable really if we had. He was a very positive influence in my life and I've been married and in some serious relationships since but I do think about him from time to time and I do dream of the last day we spent together. Sometimes it's just a comforting thought. Perhaps you dreamt of this girl so you could let her go in a way? And you did dream of a girl of 25 years ago not of a person in the present.
 
wishiwuzthar

wishiwuzthar

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Joined
Jan 2, 2008
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Location
Central E. Coast, US
A new thought on this dream problem

I am thinking that this was a time when I was still living w/ mom & dad, I had a job, the only bill I had was car ins. Certainly less stressful than today.
Also, she was a beautiful girl, very smart, & street smart too. Very exciting!
But more than that, I think it's also the "what if". What if I just up & went 2,000 miles from my home & started all over for her. Today? I would have done it. But I was scared of change then, just plain scared. My feelings, if you will, are letting me know this is the most painful part of it.
Now how to rethink it? I don't know. My mind won't wrap around it.

Any suggestions, please? I have to get past this before my lovely wife starts noticing me being bummed out & starts asking what's wrong. And, don't you know I will lie through my teeth, & I hate that! And, then of course I have to remember what I said...

Where are my manners? Thank you everyone, thanks so much for your aid!
 
S

sd123

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Joined
Jun 25, 2008
Messages
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i know this is a little hypocritical of me as i am currently in an unstaible mental shape at the moment, but you can't live life by what if or nothing will ever get done. you need to get your head down and press on. maybe look on myspace or facebook to see how she is doing and maybe even talk to her, but don't regret things or your feelings will grow until you become so intraverted that you blame everyone and become a sad little prick wondering where it all went wrong like myself.
 
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