• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

a call for help, or understanding or reassurance



I have joined the forum because I am concerned about my mental health, and do not know what to do about it or who to talk to. I went to my GP (after a great build-up, and writing down lots of things on cards to read from to make sure I said it all) who told me to just 'read up about anxiety'.

I don't even know if this is the right part of the forum to be posting, so sorry if it is not.

I should start by saying that, to quite a large extent, I do not recognise myself as the same person I used to be. In fact, I have very little sense of self at all. I used to feel things (emotions) keenly, but for years now have just felt dull with a whole where my heart should be, and almost like a spectator in my life.

My more worrying symptoms, for me, are that I feel like there are two people in my head - a quiet voice that is trying to be the me from years ago, and a different voice that takes my thoughts to a much darker place.

It is this second voice that has convinced me on occasion to hurt myself (punching and cutting myself). It is also this voice that governs most of my ‘quiet time’ and ‘fantasies’, that have become more and more concerning to me – fantasies about me being tortured, or about torturing others, or about sexual encounters with children.

It goes without saying that when I feel normal these fantasies disturb and upset me, although when I am actually having them I feel detached from myself and often enjoy them.

I would say that I feel in control of the fantasies, and have no intention of doing any of things in them, but I am worried because 5 years ago I never would have thought about punching or cutting myself and yet I have now done it.

Is there something wrong with me? And if so, what can I do to turn my life around?

P.S. I am very successful in my working life, and am married and able to sustain relationships.


Hello & welcome to the site.

People are often very reluctant to talk about the 'content' of their own minds. & such is the society that we live in, that talking about MH issues is largely taboo. I think that everyone gets 'bad' or unwanted thoughts of one kind of another. There is a World of difference between thinking about something & actually doing it. My head is sometimes like a horror film, but I am not out there raping & pillaging. I am thoughtful, quite quiet, & amicable.

It's just thoughts, & sometimes I think it best to just try & detach from what our heads are doing. Given the general standard of TV, films, the media, & society - then I think it no wonder that our brains have such thinking some days.

The form the thoughts sometimes take with me is violence. But I am not a violent person - far from it.
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
E I don't know how to call this Anxiety Forum 9
C I don't know what to call this Anxiety Forum 20
N Silly I call them, Phone Calls - Incoming Anxiety Forum 3
T Help. English feels foreign to me (18M) Anxiety Forum 2
M Anxiety about 30 years schizophrenic,help Anxiety Forum 2
W I have some kind of social anxiety (help) Anxiety Forum 1
K Struggling to give my husband space, anyone help?? Anxiety Forum 18
C (Generalised Anxiety/constant worrying) Talk therapy doesn't help ... alternatives? Anxiety Forum 5
M 17 year old son struggling don’t know how to help Anxiety Forum 11
M HELP Anxiety Forum 3
U Help with Memorial Day Anxiety Anxiety Forum 3
M Anxiety help Anxiety Forum 8
S Help ! Anxiety Forum 8
T Constant state of anxiety sore legs and back heartburn please help Anxiety Forum 10
S I really need help with my anxiety Anxiety Forum 7
M I need help. Anxiety Forum 8
G Doctor didn't help much Anxiety Forum 3
Amelia2020 Does melatonin help with anxiety? Anxiety Forum 2
I Help Anxiety Forum 13
D One of the worst things about anxiety is that it makes me feel like I can't get any help Anxiety Forum 2
R How do I help someone may have anxiety Anxiety Forum 3
Ladyfair Help My Eyes Depression Appts Anxiety Forum 4
kayzee195 Has anyone used CBD to help with anxiety depression illness etc.? Anxiety Forum 4
G Help get rid of this feeling Anxiety Forum 1
L Help! Extremely low confident and insecure and panic Anxiety Forum 8
L Need Help/Advice. Hopeless Anxiety Forum 2
S Please help, I need advice Anxiety Forum 2
M Not able to focus more than a minute - help pls Anxiety Forum 7
V anxiety, ocd or delirium? PLEASE HELP :( Anxiety Forum 6
S I'm a magnet for confrontation please help! Anxiety Forum 11
lizard56 Please help!!!!! Anxiety Forum 3
T CBD oil to help anxiety? Anxiety Forum 3
H Headaches / anxiety help Anxiety Forum 6
J No Labido: Driving Wife Crazy. Please Help!!! Anxiety Forum 5
L I really need help Anxiety Forum 10
B Help, what helps your anxiety? Anxiety Forum 5
lizard56 Please help! What is wrong with me? Anxiety Forum 13
dedsh0t i need help with something.. Anxiety Forum 2
I What was my greatest help is now by biggest fear Anxiety Forum 6
lizard56 Please help!! Anxiety Forum 9
moonperson Help how to go outside with severe anxiety? Anxiety Forum 5
lizard56 Has anyone felt this before? Please help! Anxiety Forum 9
I Panicking over weird sensation please help. Anxiety Forum 6
A Music to help Anxiety periods? Anxiety Forum 4
M Hocd help Anxiety Forum 16
B Hello I’m new and just need some guidance panic attacks worry scared pls help me Anxiety Forum 1
R bad weed trip! help Anxiety Forum 1
M Please help Anxiety Forum 9
M HELP! Anxiety Forum 3
Miguel I need help Anxiety Forum 4

Similar threads