• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

A Belated Hello

D

DanDeerskin

Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2013
Messages
9
Hi Folks,

I'm DanDeerskin and I happened to join this forum 7 years ago and posted just once in quite a difficult place but have found myself back here struggling again but perhaps in a little better of a place.

I'm from the UK and a University Lecturer. I was diagnosed at an early age (pre-teen) with Depression but have adult diagnoses of Clinical Depression; Generalised Anxiety Disorder; OCD (with more focus on obsessive thoughts rather than compulsive behaviour) and - most recently - Schizoaffective Disorder. Quite a rap sheet!

I'm particularly interested and working on building Mindfulness into my daily life at the moment. Work-related stress and sleep disturbance are key triggers for me.

Thanks for taking the time to read!

DD
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
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Messages
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Lancashire
Hello and welcome back. I hope you find us supportive and kind. When you are ready tell us more about yourself.
 
D

DanDeerskin

Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2013
Messages
9
Hello and welcome back. I hope you find us supportive and kind. When you are ready tell us more about yourself.
Thanks Calypso. I've noticed your location and I happen to live in the Ribble Valley these days although originally I'm from Ireland!
 
Heartbroken

Heartbroken

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2020
Messages
86
Location
My heart
Hi Folks,

I'm DanDeerskin and I happened to join this forum 7 years ago and posted just once in quite a difficult place but have found myself back here struggling again but perhaps in a little better of a place.

I'm from the UK and a University Lecturer. I was diagnosed at an early age (pre-teen) with Depression but have adult diagnoses of Clinical Depression; Generalised Anxiety Disorder; OCD (with more focus on obsessive thoughts rather than compulsive behaviour) and - most recently - Schizoaffective Disorder. Quite a rap sheet!

I'm particularly interested and working on building Mindfulness into my daily life at the moment. Work-related stress and sleep disturbance are key triggers for me.

Thanks for taking the time to read!

DD
Hello! Sounds great your approach to everyday life with Mindfulness. I have sleep problems. I'm struggling a lot and I feel like I can understand what you say, I feel like I can relate. Welcome back and nice to see you.
 
D

DanDeerskin

Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2013
Messages
9
Thanks, Heartbroken. The conversation around sleep is one that comes up anytime I need support/intervention from professionals; its clear sleep is such an important part of us staying well so it makes sense to try and keep it at the heart of what we do to keep/stay well.

At the moment, I'm really only sleeping through the night with the help of medication - so that isn't every night and definitely isn't sustainable. A 'good' night's 'natural' sleep is probably 4-5 hours but I know from experience after a while I need longer than that. That's another thing, what each of us needs can be so vastly different - there are probably people reading this thinking what am I complaining about, 4 hours a night is great!!

I hope you're keeping well and managing to make progress with your sleep - I appreciated the time you took to reply to my thread.
 
Heartbroken

Heartbroken

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Dec 4, 2020
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Hello and thank you, Dan. My pleasure. I'm excited because I can relate to some of the things you said and I only got my bipolar 2 diagnosis in November. I'm still not totally OK with it. I'm mostly depressed, severely clinically depressed 99% of the time. Meds don't really help. You've created a career in university despite your struggles and I'm really excited about that. I've studied in the university too, I wasn't aware of bipolar then, didn't have any depression diagnosis. I have OCD tendencies, not a diagnosis.

Yes, sleep is really important. I never wake up feeling "refreshed". My nightmares are so vivid. I'm sorry about your struggles and sleeping problems. I understand, it's often been that 4-5 hours of sleep for me, too. I need longer than that, too. For some time I've also been tired in a different way, due to being ill for months and other physical health problems.

I have long term sleeping problems. I haven't had help with my sleeping problems. I have nightmares every night etc.
It's good that you are taking medication to sleep. It's not always easy to get meds for sleep. I understand what you mean.

I've always been practicing my own kind of Mindfulness before I knew it's called Mindfulness. I'm doing it my own way, basically the same thing. It doesn't mean I'm always "succeeding".
But I think it's just great if you can.

I hope you're keeping well too. I hope everything goes well, also sleeping, and you will be able to get enough sleep.
 
D

DanDeerskin

Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2013
Messages
9
That's a nice way of putting it that I recognise too - practicing your own mindfulness before you knew it as mindfulness. As long as it works for the individual and isn't harmful in anyway, I think that's all that matters too.

I'm glad I've met someone else who has a similar view on sleep; I sometimes think people are judging when you say you only got 4 hours sleep as if that isn't too bad. But it's the quality that's an issue for me too - I'm exactly the same, never feeling refreshed.

My biggest worry about diagnoses is a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy; that I'll adopt or accept symptoms for a condition I've been diagnosed with due to my newfound knowledge about it. I try to live to a mantra that might have the potential to be harmful but I think sets me off in a good direction. No matter the setbacks or any deterioration in my condition, I never want anyone to see me as accepting or being a victim of my mental illness; that I've never fought back. That can be tiring.
 
B

brightyellow

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Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Messages
123
Great to have you back! How have you been?
 
D

DanDeerskin

Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2013
Messages
9
Thanks, Brightyellow! Over the past 7 years? I've had my ups and downs like everyone but more positives than negatives. The past couple of months have been tough and I'm still off work with the recent diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder. It's a bit of a shock to the system but at the same time, it makes sense with a lot of the things I've been experiencing.
 
Heartbroken

Heartbroken

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Dec 4, 2020
Messages
86
Location
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That's a nice way of putting it that I recognise too - practicing your own mindfulness before you knew it as mindfulness. As long as it works for the individual and isn't harmful in anyway, I think that's all that matters too.

I'm glad I've met someone else who has a similar view on sleep; I sometimes think people are judging when you say you only got 4 hours sleep as if that isn't too bad. But it's the quality that's an issue for me too - I'm exactly the same, never feeling refreshed.

My biggest worry about diagnoses is a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy; that I'll adopt or accept symptoms for a condition I've been diagnosed with due to my newfound knowledge about it. I try to live to a mantra that might have the potential to be harmful but I think sets me off in a good direction. No matter the setbacks or any deterioration in my condition, I never want anyone to see me as accepting or being a victim of my mental illness; that I've never fought back. That can be tiring.

Thank you for your reply, I'm sorry for the late response, I haven't been feeling well. Thank you for your lovely, warm and kind feedback. It made me feel better. I'm glad that you replied. I'm glad that you know what I mean with practicing my own mindfulness. I'm glad that we have a similar view on sleep, too.
I understand your sleeping problems. I'm sorry that you have sleep quality problems as well. It's terrible. Not everyone understands that and how bad it feels when it continues for years, for example. I'm sorry that you never feel refreshed when you wake up, we're very alike that way.

I understand what you mean with what you say about diagnoses. I asked for help for years, doctors didn't believe or listen to me.
I understand and I know that you fight back.
To me, you are not your diagnosis, people aren't their diagnoses. I'm happy to meet someone who knows what it's like to live with an illness like this.
Thank you so much for sharing. You definitely aren't a victim of your illness. I don't see you as a victim. Sometimes you might feel tired but it's because of the illness itself. I'm proud of you. You're living with something that only a very few can understand.
 
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