A bad day today!

[Blooming]

I am crying, not silent, but like a river spreading all over ... It is extremely heavy to cope with all the isolation in this corona time. I know I'm not the only one, but this day it is me who cannot cope, who need online support.

I'm trying and trying, really clever, what else is there to do, .... So one day one cannot take it anymore ...

So it is for me today, I know that when this crying has calmed down, I will look into my toolbox and continue the cleverness and try to survive, but how long will it last?

I needed to tell somewhere in hope of support ...

(I have a therapist to call if needed. My medication works well, but they are not supposed to cure loneliness or other trouble. I do not want advice, just human support that it is OK to have a day out of control). ☮

 

[JessisMe]

I’m glad you are letting yourself cry, Blooming.
I’m so sorry that you are having a bad time of it today. We’re all here cheering for you! xo, j

 

[Deleted member 91724]

Blooming, you're entitled to these days and we all have them. You seem to understand the reason you're crying and that has to be half the battle won - Coronavirus will be under control soon enough and this fog that has descended on the planet will lift, bringing a lot more sunshine into your life.

Take care!

 

[Blooming]

Thank you JessisMe and Clem Fandango! I felt better after the crying. But it was scary that for some time before the crying suicidal thoughts broke through.They felt very realistic ... I didn't want to mention that in my post. These thoughts "drowned" in the crying. This morning I am sitting here trying to convince myself that life must go on for the whole corona time and that I will be able to cope. Luckily the weather is sunny today, so there will probably be some opportunities to relax in the sun. ❤ 🥀

 

[PerpetuallyStuck]

It is extremely heavy to cope with all the isolation in this corona time. I know I'm not the only one, but this day it is me who cannot cope, who need online support.

I needed to tell somewhere in hope of support ...

My family keep telling me that things will get better when corona lockdown is over. I have hardly any more of a life without lockdown...They seem to think my life will magically get better.

I hope you have more to look forward to. This forum is an outlet for socialising, but it still fills me with dread. For some reason, it doesn't matter whether I socialise online or off, I still feel the anxiety.

Still, I'd like to show my support for you!

 

[Bluejay7500]

I felt this way two days ago. It's gone but today is a whole new day. Still haven't taken medication but my schedule is all messed up. I have to plan it around my anxiety. I hope today is calm tooo

 

[indigo6]

Wishing you comfort and calm, Blooming and all x

 

[Blooming]

My family keep telling me that things will get better when corona lockdown is over. I have hardly any more of a life without lockdown...They seem to think my life will magically get better.

I hope you have more to look forward to. This forum is an outlet for socialising, but it still fills me with dread. For some reason, it doesn't matter whether I socialise online or off, I still feel the anxiety.

Still, I'd like to show my support for you!

I am sorry that you have that burden to carry! Anxiety can be hard "thing" to cope with! 😨

My life was OK (enough) before Corona. I mean I had fought to have the necessary social contacts I needed to cope with life, now. Then everything closed and loneliness crept in.

 

[PerpetuallyStuck]

I am sorry that you have that burden to carry! Anxiety can be hard "thing" to cope with! 😨

My life was OK (enough) before Corona. I mean I had fought to have the necessary social contacts I needed to cope with life, now. Then everything closed and loneliness crept in.

It's interesting that you managed to get what you need out of life. You may have a different mental health condition to me, but any advice you could give that would be beneficial would be helpful. I've been stuck in a situation which seems impossible to get out of. If you fell out of contact with most people, how did you regain it?

I'm sorry to hear that the lockdown put the brakes on your life. At least it should get back to normal soon.

 

[Blooming]

I felt this way two days ago. It's gone but today is a whole new day. Still haven't taken medication but my schedule is all messed up. I have to plan it around my anxiety. I hope today is calm tooo

With regard to planning, I try to plan according to my energy. I break tasks into small amounts, like five minutes this before five minutes that and so on. At some bad days I try with 15 minutes work, 5-7 minutes Netflix and so on. Of course Netflix then steals of my time, but at least I get something done instead of nothing.

 

[Blooming]

If you fell out of contact with most people, how did you regain it?

I never fell out of contact with most people in a way that I was not able to function together with them. But moving, shift of job and so on made me lonely. I searched for groups that had the same interest like me and gave these groups my time, so that when they had the time to get to know me, I became accepted (not as a close friend), but as a groupmember to discuss with, laugh with, go out with ...

If you are able to manage your anxiety, you can do the same. I don't know if you have had good treatment for your anxiety. If not everything has been tried, you can still try different relaxation exercises (need time and regular practice before they work). It is not easy, but everyone has to find their own way ... I am not saying that you have not tried enough, only pointing at the fact that nobody has the same struggles and that each person may have treatment according to their needs. May be there is something you have not tried or don't know about ..., google treatment for anxiety.

I have in former time trained a lot on talking in front of other people. It's about training, training and training over and over again until it is possible to do without anxiety. If you think that is an idea, you can film yourself on your smart phone at home, if you have one when you exercise. Delete everything after every training.

If you come to the point where you can control your anxiety, go through your interests and see where you can find groups to participate in where you think you will fit it, that can be sport, religious from Christian to Buddhist or other, fight for climate-change or whatever ...

I am a step by step person, and "mapped" my problems one by one and then made a plan about how to manage them.

There will never be a 100 % perfect life. Nobody has that. But my experience is that if there is a chance it can be somewhat better it is worth to take the chance ...

One important "thing" to remember for everybody is accept setbacks, setbacks, setbacks, setbacks ...