(_o_)---(_o_) Hi

I

IWantToDie

New member
Joined
Mar 18, 2019
Messages
2
Location
ShitHole
#1
I feel very depressed, thinking of death feels plesant.
It seems to mainly cause of my inability to form relationships with a females.
I have severe case of ADHD and due to it I look bad
Overtime I have built up avoidance issues and I am at a point where I have drained all my confidence.
My life seems to be running in a spiral between anxiety, regrets and then severe depression and suicial
thinking.
Don't worry, I won't kill my self. As I don't want my family (Mom and Brother) to feel the way I do.
Well what now?
I know that many people will probably say something along this line.
"Just keep trying, talk to girls and you get better at it overtime."
Well, I think we are way past point in my life, as I think I have been traumatised by the amounts of embarasments
I have gone through.
At this point, when I like some girl these symptoms occure. I get a sensation similar to having bleeding nose and my mind is flooded with graphic images of me killing my self.
When ever try engaging with a female, I am haunted by very dark lucid dreams and what I would call out of body experiences. Where either I other people close to me die.
It has been like this for few years and I sort of got used to it. It almost seems like some of the events are repeating.
I enjoy living and I love many diffeernt things in life, but it is so difficult to pursue what I want when my mind
does not let me.

Sorry for the structure of this text.
 
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Hopeful313

Hopeful313

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 12, 2019
Messages
563
Location
Minnesota, USA
#2
I feel very depressed, thinking of death feels plesant.
It seems to mainly cause of my inability to form relationships with a females.
I have severe case of ADHD and due to it I always look bad.
Overtime I have built up avoidance issues and I am at a point where I have drained all my confidence.
My life seems to be running in a spiral between anxiety, regrets and then severe depression and suicial
thinking.
Don't worry, I won't kill my self. As I don't want my family (Mom and Brother) to feel the way I do.
Well what now?
I know that many people will probably say something along this line.
"Just keep trying, talk to girls and you get better at it overtime."
Well, I think we are way past point in my life, as I think I have been traumatised by the amounts of embarasments
I have gone through.
At this point, when I like some girl these symptoms occure. I get a sensation similar to having bleeding nose and my mind is flooded with graphic images of me killing my self.
When ever try engaging with a female, I am haunted by very dark lucid dreams and what I would call out of body experiences. Where either I other people close to me die.
It has been like this for few years and I sort of got used to it. It almost seems like some of the events are repeating.
I enjoy living and I love many diffeernt things in life, but it is so difficult to pursue what I want when my mind
does not let me.

Sorry for the structure of this text.
Hi and welcome to the forum.

I very sorry that you feel the way you do.

You mentioned your diagnosis and I assume that you’ve seen a doctor. What kind of treatment are you on at this time, if I may ask.

Have you discussed with your doctor the possibility of you having POCD(Pure Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)? Or intrusive thoughts? This is almost associated with many mental health disorders.

My situation is different than yours but I had similar intrusive thoughts about seeing myself or people around me dying. I asked my doctor to give Escitalopram. It’s been over 3 months now since I started my treatment and I am doing better than ever. No intrusive thoughts at all and I don’t experience anything overwhelming.

I hope you feel better and things change for the better soon.
 
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