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27&Depression

2

27NDepression

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Baltimore
Came across this thread and thought it may be a good outlet for me as I fall back down the rabbit hole that is my mental health. I wish I could say this was my first time climbing down into the abyss but alas here we are, at least attempting to document it in some form this time. It almost feels wrong struggling with these issues at such a young age. As a child I didn't imagine people like me could suffer from PTSD. Terms like anxiety and depression didn't seem real. I was confident all my problems were a result of my circumstance and once I turned 18 I would be in charge of that circumstance and be able to control things. Almost a decade later I still get a good laugh at that notion. Today I am very blessed. I am successful 27 year old woman. I have a great job in human resources, a bachelors degree, more friends than I know what to do with, and a better partner than I could ever ask for. I have been blessed to travel all over the world and probably been more fortunate than most people I know. Yes, to get here has been literally hell, but I am here now. So how do I let go of all of the trauma that brought me here? The worst part for me is definitely the fear. It is always there. The constant looming feeling that something is going to go horribly wrong. From the moment I wake up, until the moment I go to sleep. Next would probably be the exhaustion from talking down the fear. The narrative in my head working 24/7 to tell me everything is okay and convince myself that all the things I am worried about are not real. Dulling the experience of literally everything one would do for enjoyment. Go to the pool with friends, worried everyone will drown. Out for drinks, someone will have to much and die. Literally doing nothing....you are boring and everyone hates you. Yes I should probably go to therapy and take the medication my primary keeps recommending for my anxiety, but I can't even wake up every day and brush my teeth consistently, so naturally I am unable to take a pill or be consistent enough to find a therapist, schedule appointment and actually follow through with them. So here I am venting to Reddit at 7:20 in the morning before I sign in to my cushy work from home HR job. Telling myself that at least we have documented these feelings so if I ever do have the urge to get my shit together I can at least have a reference. This my friends is mental illness. Welcome to my channel.
 
U

Usedup

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2021
Messages
80
Location
US
Hi @27NDepression! I hope you find support here! Trauma stays with us but hopefully we can find a way to cope so the emotions associated with the trauma (s) are not so intense.
 
S

SweetKitty

Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2021
Messages
9
Location
South Dakota
I don't think I've read someone's story that feels so close to mine as yours does, minus a few professional details. I am currently wrapped up in bed and it's almost 11am. I haven't brushed my teeth yet because I haven't even finished my oatmeal from this morning. I was supposed to receive my medicine in the mail but it hasn't arrived yet to the hotel. I'm a traveler with my man but not for my job, for his. He's part of a national construction company and I'm a hazard to the workplace due to my unpredictable nature so I'm currently unemployed and trying to apply for disability. It's been a pickle for sure. Anyway today's a rough one I cry randomly, I haven't left the room for fear I will run away, and I can't seem to leave this bed very long. So I can get a picture of what you're going through.
 
Blooming

Blooming

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
585
Location
mycountry
Of course you can, @27NDepression.


You have recourses, but have something more to do .... ☺


Check this website: Get.gg - Getselfhelp.co.uk

And don't forget to buy the book:

"The Decider Skills for Self Help: CBT and DBT skills to increase resilience, coping and confidence" by Michelle Ayres and Carol Vivyan


Put up notes at your your doors or your mirror, so that you have to read the note, and then it is practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, PRACTICE!


There is hope for everyone! 🌹🌺🌷

PS Go to therapy for your traumas and use the reccomeded items in addition.
 
2

27NDepression

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Baltimore
I don't think I've read someone's story that feels so close to mine as yours does, minus a few professional details. I am currently wrapped up in bed and it's almost 11am. I haven't brushed my teeth yet because I haven't even finished my oatmeal from this morning. I was supposed to receive my medicine in the mail but it hasn't arrived yet to the hotel. I'm a traveler with my man but not for my job, for his. He's part of a national construction company and I'm a hazard to the workplace due to my unpredictable nature so I'm currently unemployed and trying to apply for disability. It's been a pickle for sure. Anyway today's a rough one I cry randomly, I haven't left the room for fear I will run away, and I can't seem to leave this bed very long. So I can get a picture of what you're going through.


I am so happy someone was able to relate to my story! It was great having an outlet for these kinds of emotions. I couldn't imagine what you are going through either with the added stress of travel. For me my bedroom in my apartment is my sanctuary. I hope maybe you can find some recluse in the experiences or people you meet while traveling with your significant other. I often feel trapped here in Baltimore city and wonder if things would be any different if I got out of this hell hole. Wishing you the best of luck and made sure to give you a follow. Looking forward to hearing more 😀.
 
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