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WillScarlet

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#1
As some of you may be aware I was the main witness is a rape case a few weeks ago in Derby. I beat myself up every single day cause I had the chance to stop him before he attacked 2 more girls. I saw 1 of the girls in court that he attacked and I still want to apologise to her face to face.

I dont know how she will act though, he has been found guilty but it doesn't stop me feel a guilt so strong I would be happier dead!
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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#2
Oh Will, that's a terrible experience you had. Have you been able to talk to anyone about it? I am certainly not judging you for not acting in that situation. I hope that you will be able to forgive yourself for that. Some people, in situations like that, just freeze up, and I am sure you were afraid for your own safety. I know I am the type to freeze up, and when you are in that state you can't do a thing. It might be helpful for you to se a therapist to talk through that. Even if it was only a few sessions. I think it is very brave of you to want to apologize to the girl. Take care.
 
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WillScarlet

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#3
I didn't freeze, I waited for a girl to ID him and he ran before I could kill him...
 
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baby_dolly_face

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#4
Will
This must have been horrific for you....but I don't understand why you are beating yourself up the way you are. You didnt perpetrate these crimes on these women and you did what you could! Stop giving yourself a hard time :) Now, will you receive some sort of therapy? Do you feel you need it?
xx
 
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WillScarlet

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#5
Cause of my lack of action 2 more girls and numerous other peoples lived have been ruined! I kind of touched on it with the CPN but I don't like mentioning it because it makes me sound more insane!!
 
bobshocker

bobshocker

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#6
it aint your fault , you were there when you were there, if you wernt there it would have been much worse, stop beating yourself up. the only person who should die is that disgusting peice of low life trash that did it, and what comes around goes around, one day someone's gonna clean his clock for him, in the interum why should you suffer, cos of him.
Mate - You did what u could, how do you know he wasn't gonna shank you or something? Youre alive, these girls are alive. The good guy won here. Stop internalising, else youll never be able to move on. If you still think about it all the time go to the doctors, cos you need to talk to someone about it.
 
calypso

calypso

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#7
Talking as a survivor of rape Will, I know only too well how this leaves everyone blaming themselves and showing more humanity and emotion than the f***ing predator does. Put the blame where it belongs, as Bob said, the blame is on the predator. Its amazing how these banal little pricks can get everyone running around feeling whole ranges of negative emotions, when all they do is sit there smuggly, enjoying the havoc they create.

You're a man, so feel you should have done more. Men are not braver than women, and they are not any stronger in this than women. I bet a lot of other people suspected this guy - people who lived with him, worked with him - and they too are beating themselves up about it too. Psychopaths cause carnage wherever they go, and they walk away without a care in the world. You were a witness - that is fantastic. You did step up to the plate - be proud of that and don't let that little bastard ruin another life!
 
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baby_dolly_face

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#8
Here, Here calypso! Well said as usual. Take heart in the fact that we believe you did all you could and you acted honourably at every stage Will.....if only there were more people like you, then rape would possibly be less prevalent than it is!xx
 
Fluffymum

Fluffymum

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#9
That's lovely Calypso really well put hun.
I dont want to sound all scientific here and am not sure if i should be writing this in this way or if it will even help but studies show that people dont respond to rape as much as they would fire or the like, i cant rememember the reason but i think a lot of people have sadly been in your position and blame themselves when everyone is probably likely to respond the same.
I think talking to your cpn will help, and counselling wouldnt go a miss either hun x
Good for you for doing what you've done though, many wouldnt x