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21 years old and don't know how to drive.

C

Charlie Patterson

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Apr 8, 2020
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62
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Bournemouth, Dorset
As rhe thread title states, I am nearly 21 years of age and I don't particularly know how to drive. This is because of my severe anxiety of driving, also because (and likely induced by) my father's insistence that he teaches me. Now I love my dad and I am not smack talking him, but I have to admit he is a rubbish teacher, he has zero patience and he gets frustrated very easily when I make a mistake, which ofcourse makes me extremely anxious and thusmaking me avoid driving lessons and therefore delay learning how to drive. I understand the importance of driving skills and I am scared that I won't obtain certain things in life without such a skill, but I really don't want to have my dad teach me. Also, admittedly the thought of driving on these congested, busy English roads also makes me extremely anxious.

Thank you for taking the time to read, and I hope you all have a great day : )
 
Z

Zaz3

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Nov 11, 2020
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I'm 51 and have never driven a car in my life. I was a passenger in a bad road accident in my teens and decided against cars. I don't feel like its held me back. I've had an interesting and varied life. There's more to life than cars lol 🙂
 
E

EclipticNight

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Oct 27, 2020
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Orleans vermont.
I used to drive but i get seizures now so i cant. Plenty of alternatives. If you want to learn the skill try asking him to be patient while you get the hang of it. I learned in a tight graveyard.
 
B

bpd2020

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I am 38 and have never driven a car either. Do not feel any pressure to drive. It seems many of us cannot drive.
 
J

JHR

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Nov 22, 2020
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Belfast
Why not also take lessons with someone you trust instead. Perhaps someone with the level of patience you need. That way you will improve as a driver and any situation when you go out with your dad you will be more comfortable with it and be able to handle it much better.
 
Ineedhelp2921

Ineedhelp2921

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Nov 11, 2018
Messages
90
Hey Hun,

Nothing wrong with not driving, you don't have to if you don't want to. I mean I can drive, but as I work in the city there is literally no point in driving around when it's easier to walk, take a train or a bus.

I also suffer from anxiety when driving. I have been driving for 4/5 years too. I used to take a ton of kalms as well before my journey. However, for some reason for the past couple of months, It just went away. And I think it's because I had no choice but to drive in situations that make me anxious. The more I've done it the better I have felt about the situation.

And that could be with you too. Maybe give it a go, take a few professional lessons, as they've got some control of the car on their side as well. And if you don't like it at least you can say you gave it a go.
 
J

JoleneInCalifornia

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Joined
Nov 23, 2020
Messages
106
Location
Usa
As rhe thread title states, I am nearly 21 years of age and I don't particularly know how to drive. This is because of my severe anxiety of driving, also because (and likely induced by) my father's insistence that he teaches me. Now I love my dad and I am not smack talking him, but I have to admit he is a rubbish teacher, he has zero patience and he gets frustrated very easily when I make a mistake, which ofcourse makes me extremely anxious and thusmaking me avoid driving lessons and therefore delay learning how to drive. I understand the importance of driving skills and I am scared that I won't obtain certain things in life without such a skill, but I really don't want to have my dad teach me. Also, admittedly the thought of driving on these congested, busy English roads also makes me extremely anxious.

Thank you for taking the time to read, and I hope you all have a great day : )
Sorry to hear that you have anxiety driving. For me, it's my way of freedom. Whenever i feel depressed or need space, i can just jump in my car and drive to get away from it all. Also, i can do whatever i need to do, go shopping, go to the park, beach, etc. Im in California and it's always congested but freedom means much much more to me. i hope you can find a way to get over your anxiety.
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

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Norway
I'm 42 and don't have a driver's license, many of my friends who are in their late 30's early 40's don't have licenses either and many of my friends that do have a license didn't get it until they were late into their 20's early 30's so it's never to late. There's no need to rush it, take your time and you will build up your courage. I wish you luck and hope all goes well for you. :)
 
F

fluffpill

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Apr 20, 2020
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515
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world
i know a 26 year old who can't drive. my friend who is totally normal with no mental health diagnosis and a very successful career learnt driving at 28.
 
Jh447

Jh447

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Apr 18, 2020
Messages
53
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California
If it makes you feel better, I’m 24 almost 25 and still don’t know how to drive. For some reason I just can’t get used to the car. My dad is the same way, he’s very inconsistent when it comes to teaching me how to drive and he’s a lousy teacher too. It sucks but I totally understand you. Don’t worry, your not the only one in their 20s that doesn’t know how to drive. Maybe you can have a family member or a friend to teach you :)
 
Talina

Talina

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May 14, 2020
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Sweden
Driving lessons with your dad can be a nightmare sometimes. What my dad managed to teach me in 5 years and what the driving school learned me within 2 months was a huge different. But I totally understand your anxiety of driving.

So don’t stress over it, all my older siblings first got their driving license when they was older and I only managed to get my license because of the driving school.
 
S

Skyblue

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Nov 17, 2020
Messages
130
Location
United Kingdom
I tried driving lessons with my Dad - l nearly did serious damage to the engine l was so nervous (it was a brand new car!).
Instead l found an instructor who was patient and informed - you’ll need to pass the theory test first? Then the practical.
If you have done the theory - serious congratulations!
Practically - you can ask an instructor to schedule at less busy times at first or stick to industrial estates (gutted for you that it can’t happen for a while).
Driving can and is one of my favourite things - l have a Citroen DS3 (smallest car l’ve ever driven). Saving hard for a Vauxhall Calibra V6. I already have a heavy duty sound system.
Driving gives a sense of control rarely found. I would encourage long drives outside of commuter times and places to build muscle memory, ability to ‘feel’ an engine, handling and control - l am jealous of the journey you may choose to go on!!!
Whatever you decide - no one will judge.
Good luck.
 
T

Tam

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Nov 12, 2020
Messages
48
Location
UK
Professional driving lessons is definitely the way forward, I had two as the first one was not sympathetic to my anxiety, the second teacher was fabulous and I passed my test first time, oh and I was a lot older than 21, 40ish! I have my comfort zone area I keep to but I have driven in busy traffic and do feel I can drive anywhere if I absolutely had to, I also have a motorcycle licence, it's one step at a time and see how it goes, anxiety is such a bit*h! Good luck.
 
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