2009-the year that will destroy me???

[nikki]

hi im new here this is my first thread i hope i don't bore you all lol.

here is a little about me...
* im 20 years old
* i don't currently recieve any councilling of any kind
* i have been diagnosed with depression and (so ive been told) im in a totaly negative state of mind and there is no way of reversing the damage done.

this year has been particularly tough and it's not going to get better.
i guess i will start by explaining that my family is a close knit family we are all close all the way out to the great aunty's and uncle's.
there has been 4 deaths in my family since the new year which i do think im handiling resonabily well considering
i was made redundant from my work almost a month ago and i loved working there, i haven't got back into work as there isn't any jobs.
im struggling at college and i really dont think im going to pass the course as it ends in just 3 weeks and i have alot to catch up on (it isn't written work it's all practical).
finally my great aunty has lung cancer, i found out last year but it's getting worse it has spread to her brain and through her body and i think that i wont be able to handle it when she does go, i sank into a deep depressive state years ago when my grandad died and when my great gran died i found it hard to get back on my feet again, it was like i fell into a dark hole that i couldn't climb out of.
i lost contact with my family and friends when i lost my grandad and im terrified that it will happen again and with all that has already happened this year i don't think i can cope
please can you give me any advice on how to deal with everything when the worst happens.

 

[unlucky]

Hello and welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry all this is happening to you so close together. Its only natural to be depressed when dealing with the death of loved ones. I would advise you to go back and see your GP and tell them you're just not coping with everything, explain how you're feeling and see what they say. Maybe bereavement counselling would be of some use to you, its not for everyone but it may help. Theres not many people on the forum just now but give it time and I'm sure you will get some helpful advise xx

 

[keepsafe]

I hope 2009 is not that for you - may it improve - sorry I can;t help more
KS

 

[quality factor]

You are going through a demanding time, I suspect that it would help you to be able to talk things through. Have you got a special friend who will help? As has already been said talking to your GP may be a good idea, he/ she may be able to get you some counselling.
Times such as you have been through are emotionally draining, so you need to give yourself time for you.
Keep posting ,I'm sure somebody out there can help you too.
QF.

 

[Dollit]

Hi - yo say you're a close family so is there someone in the family you can confide in.

I lost my dad to lung cancer really quickly and what helped me most was knowing that his physical pain had stopped and that could only be a good thing. I miss him and the shock was difficult - we found out he was ill and ten weeks later he had died - but I got through. I talked to my GP, consultant, some of the guys I was working with then, other people. And I gave myself the time that I needed. Don't hurry the process along, take your time.

 

[jamesdean]

I would just like to say that I hope that you can find this forum supportive and of use to you meeting new friends who that I hope that you can find it comfortable to keep posting and I hope that it can help you best wishes JD

 

[nikki]

thank you all ...

thank you for all your support i was going through a rough patch there i know my great aunts death will hit me hard when it happens but i think i will be ok and if im not i have everyone here to talk to.
i will not be going back to councilling of any sort though i did it once and i got told within 3 months i was cured just because i was happy that time. ive done better on my own well kind of i have my moments but don't we all?
i just wanted to say thank you u really did help

 

[unlucky]

We're always here if you need us or even just to chat if you don't need us

 

[olan]

being depressed is very natural if the members of your family are gone passed. it can be happen to anyone. but don't use it as a reason for not seeing your friends. maybe they can be the source of your strength to cope up!

 

[nikki]

i want to thank everybody again, my aunty isobell passed away a few month ago but i got to spoil her on her birthday and im changing my life in her memory.

i also passed my course with flying colours.

im happy to say i am changing the way i think for the better and ive found im more positive than ever and much stronger for it, all i have been doing is talking about any problems and if i couldnt talk bout them i wrote them down.
and i keep looking at the positive things that have happened to me rather than focusing on the negative it was tough to begin with but it keeps getting better and easier.!!
it helps alot that im no longer hiding the secret of how i did try and kill my self by badly sliting my wrist exactly a year ago, i only told one of my cousins about it even though she ended up telling my mum who didnt know it feels better now its in the open.

thank you all again and hopefully wont be on here complaining lol

 

[keepsafe]

Great news to hear Nikki - wishing you all the very best, great to hear something positive.

KS