I
Itsmytime
New member
HI Everyone,
I am new to this forum and don't really know where to start. I am 41 years old and have suffered from Bulimia for over 20 years. Started in college and has never gone away. There have been ebbs and flows with the severity but it always comes roaring its ugly head back full force. I'm so sick of feeling like this, sick of the control this has over my life. Its extremely humiliating to admit that I'm a middle aged woman struggling with this disease. I never in a million years thought this would be my life. On the outside I appear to be this happy, bubbly, fun person. No one would ever guess how opposite that really is. My day revolves around food and how I feel about myself. Its destroyed my self esteem, my marriage, my sanity. I have been referred to inpatient treatment but there is no way. I work full time, have three teenage children (11, 13 and 15) and can't afford to be away from work or pay for treatment. I honestly don't know if its possible to be normal. I just want to be normal. I want to eat like a normal person, I want to go to bed with my husband at night instead of staying up to binge and purge, I want to stop spending money on food, I want to stop obsessing about what I am going to eat today, I want to stop planning my life around binges and purges, I want to feel good about myself, I want to stop being annoyed when I can't binge and purge, I want to be free of this nightmare.
Thank you to anyone for listening. Its such a secretive disease. I'm happy to be able to talk about it freely and not feel judged or ashamed.
I am new to this forum and don't really know where to start. I am 41 years old and have suffered from Bulimia for over 20 years. Started in college and has never gone away. There have been ebbs and flows with the severity but it always comes roaring its ugly head back full force. I'm so sick of feeling like this, sick of the control this has over my life. Its extremely humiliating to admit that I'm a middle aged woman struggling with this disease. I never in a million years thought this would be my life. On the outside I appear to be this happy, bubbly, fun person. No one would ever guess how opposite that really is. My day revolves around food and how I feel about myself. Its destroyed my self esteem, my marriage, my sanity. I have been referred to inpatient treatment but there is no way. I work full time, have three teenage children (11, 13 and 15) and can't afford to be away from work or pay for treatment. I honestly don't know if its possible to be normal. I just want to be normal. I want to eat like a normal person, I want to go to bed with my husband at night instead of staying up to binge and purge, I want to stop spending money on food, I want to stop obsessing about what I am going to eat today, I want to stop planning my life around binges and purges, I want to feel good about myself, I want to stop being annoyed when I can't binge and purge, I want to be free of this nightmare.
Thank you to anyone for listening. Its such a secretive disease. I'm happy to be able to talk about it freely and not feel judged or ashamed.