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1st Post From A Worried Mum.

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Hazel53

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2015
Messages
4
Location
North of England
Hello all, it feels good to be here (it is the first time I have spoken to anyone beyond very close friends and family).

I have 2 children, a boy of 13 and a girl of 15. My girly has regularly had friendship issues, was in a friendship with 2 sisters from very young but then a slightly older girl came on the scene and for whatever reason they would not include her (said she could watch them play- which was awful. Parent didn't want to know when I tried to tactfully discuss). Since then she has generally being on the edge of things, although there were times when friendships seemed to chug along quite nicely.

High school seemed to be going well for pretty much the 1st 3 years (or so we thought), I began to worry about 9 months ago that she wasn't right - would she talk... My hubby (her dad) and I went to see the doctor about her as very concerned, did not really get much out of it. Not long after (7 months ago)I remember her getting up for school one morning and looking awful, I thought to myself if she asks for today off school I will let her - she didn't (and I wish to god she had). After dropping at school I did the stuff that needed doing and then rang cams (answer machine, left message explaining how worried I was),5 minutes later I got a call from school, she had taken tablets and an ambulance had been called -she was 14.

She has self harmed (although she says not now, I don't see the signs, but ..). Anxiety/social anxiety is a real issue for her. Doctor has put her on Prozac, when she finally got help with counselling we had problems, she is currently seeing nobody (wants to, but can't allocate a appointment we can get to at the moment).

Is the anxiety forum the best place for me ? is there a teen one ?

I am desperately worried :cry2: , struggling to get her to school at the minute (doesn't feel comfortable there). And it's so hard because there are so few people to discuss with (she doesn't want the tablets bit to get out - and I understand why).

I will pop on when I can (work etc, sometimes it's evenings when I can get on).

Many thanks

Hazel xx (very teary typing this, I just worry so much about her)
 
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Rose19602

Guest
Hi Hazel,

I'm so sorry to hear about this .... and can relate a little having had a son go through school phobia at 15. I was very worried and teary too, and had similar struggles getting him to school and counselling (which he also refused). The tears goes with the territory. It's such a concern when they are so young and you love them so much.

To answer your questions first:

1. No, there isn't a specific teens forum or parenting forum....(although I'll check the latter as it may be in one of our sub forums and I'm mistaken.)

2. We can't support under 18's on here directly, due to legal reasons. Try YoungMinds who you might want to google. Not sure if they have a teenage forum....most online forums DON'T.....but they used to have phone support and some excellent leaflets written in teen appropriate language.

What we DO is support parents of under 18's. You are very welcome here, and I would say that support is invaluable for you as a parent so that you don't get dragged down by it all.

3. The anxiety forum may be relevant if this turns out to be the issue. We also have a self harm forum and one that deals with bullying. I'd suggest the experiences forum for this issue initially. With regard to self harm, please don't post specifics of what she may or may not have done as it triggers other people.

In terms of advice, I would enlist the help of the school initially, in case of absence. The SENCO may be appropriate, but preferably the school mentoring service who are excellent and independent of the school with excellent support and resources. If not, her tutor. The suicide attempt they know about right? They should respect her privacy on this and everything else, so tell her not to worry....they have to be discreet.

With any form of anxiety (if this is her issue) or bullying (?) it is best to take the pressure off and to give ample opportunity to talk when she's ready (IMO). Mainly the young person is confused and unable to come to terms with what is happening and pushing her to attend school or applying even the slightest pressure after a suicide attempt may be unwise. She is unwell, probably depressed and desperate, and this has to come first....no matter how worrying missing school at her age may be. Give her space and time and people she trusts.

I would pull her out of school for the counselling if that is the issue. It's more important than anything else really. They allow appointments....counselling is medical.

My children are now at uni and despite missing nearly 6 months of school and being totally unable to engage with work my son still achieved a good amount of GCSE's. He also recovered ..... your daughter has been caught and you, as a caring parent, will be there for her with the back up of her school, doctors and counsellors.

Hang in there and keep posting to us Hazel. You're not alone either.
We're here for you.
x
 
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Hazel53

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2015
Messages
4
Location
North of England
Hi Miss Kitty,

Thank you so much for your reply (just reading through quickly before I go to work- will read again tonight and reply). I have looked around for a forum for my daughter, but not really found one (know it's difficult with triggers etc). On here is for me basically, and I keep meaning to ring young minds as I understand you csn speak to a counsellor there.
It is so nice to be able to speak to people who understand, I have avoided some friends since it happened as I am scared that I will tell them - and people sometimes pass stuff on without meaning to :/ not realising the damage it may cause. Xc
 
Mark_01

Mark_01

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 4, 2013
Messages
2,592
Location
California
Hello, Hazel, welcome to the forum. Concerned parents are always welcome here.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi Hazel and welcome to the forum

Sorry to hear of your problems. MissKitty has given excellent advice and I don't think I have anything to add. I just hope you manage to get the help you need for your daughter. :hug1:
 
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Hazel53

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2015
Messages
4
Location
North of England
Thank you !

Thank you for your kind words and warm welcome, I really appreciate it.:)
 
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Hazel53

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2015
Messages
4
Location
North of England
Thank you.

I would just like to say thank you to everyone for the warm welcome. xx
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2013
Messages
914
Location
Lincolnshire
Hello and welcome to the forum x
I'm a mum of three, and my middle daughter who's 11 has involvement with camhs due to self harming behaviours, she also has autism. I myself started self harming at a young age (8) and so I can see things from both sides!
I hope you find this forum useful, please feel free to pm me if you ever want to 'offload'
Xsparkly x
 
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