19 year old daughter's choices

[wdm]

my daughter met a 32-year old trainer at the gym over the summer who convinced her both my husband and i mentally abused her and she was not her own person; that we have lived her life for her, etc. bottom line is she is now dating this guy and as a parent it hurts to watch this. My mental status is shot right now watching my daughter make poor choices and she honestly believes this guy is now her savior. how do we handle this short of going crazy.

 

[*Sapphire*]

Hi

And to the forum.

I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it at the moment.

I think as your daughter is 19 she is old enough to be making her own decisions with regards to her relationships and life choices. I can understand how hard it must be for you to see her making what you consider to be mistakes however mistakes learned by yourself are often the most well learned mistakes.

If your daughter or her boyfriend are accusing you of living her life for her, then I would let her be and not interfere with her choices as this will only compound what he is telling her.

In my opionion all you can do is be there to talk to and to listen, and to help pick up the pieces if she needs it at any time.

I know it must be very hard to let go of your daughter, however I go by the phrase of 'if you love something enough set it free', like a bird, if you love it enough let it go and hopefully it will come back to you by it's own choice. So sit back and watch her make her own choices and decisions and hopefully one day she will realise that age and experience do account for alot, and make the decision to listen to your advice of her own volition.