19 Male anxiety help please

M

mik3y

New member
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
3
#1
Hi This is my first post, my name is Michael and I work as a HTML programmer.

I have a problem that has been bothering me for a little over 2 years the problem is social anxiety (I get very uptight in social situations I can't think and sometimes I panic) I think this due to high school I got bullied but I just took it on the chin an didn't speak to anyone about it (I didn't let this effect my grades)

So now when I'm around people I feel the victim I don't trust people much anymore.

Also the people in the area that I live in are very common they talk about stuff like soaps, films, sport, I can't connect on any of these subjects (don't mistake me I'm not a snob I just never have liked these things)

I have one friend in the area I live in we we get on well and he understands why I don't talk around his other friends.

I just feel like a big ass! I hate myself for this all I want is to be able to walk in a room and talk to people and not sit there all quite because this is not who I truly am!

Thanks for reading any advice welcome.

Mike
 
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D

Dollit

Guest
#2
If you think that you have nothing in common with the people in the area in which you live why not join a group of some sort where the subject matter does interest you. My mum and sister both watch soaps and my dad loved sports - I played sports for years and we're considered posh!!

Confidence isn't something that comes naturally to a lot of people - have you thought of taking some assertiveness training?
 
M

mik3y

New member
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
3
#3
Assertiveness sounds right for me.
I've always been a insecure person, I formerly dealt with this through humor.
I guess programming has made me lose my humor.
Guess I'll take a break from programming and take a course in being a clown :p

Thanks for the suggestion.
 
M

mik3y

New member
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
3
#4
I was very sarcastic, then something bad happened which knocked my self esteem then I was scared of being sarcastic.

Why am I scared?
Oh shit this is going to take forever can anyone recommend me a councilor I think I've lost it :drool:

Can I turn threads into blogs?
 
D

Dollit

Guest
#5
Go into the journals section and start a blog there - lots of us have blogs there.

Learn to relax and just be yourself. We don't do judgement here and it's sometimes difficult to guess responses to posts when you can't see people.
 
K

kurtov

Member
Joined
Oct 5, 2008
Messages
23
#6
this is a good dillemma, also one with which i am delaing with.

and have found myself to just stay away from these people, if they chose to speak with me then i will do nothuing but listen and ask questions trying to learn about what they say so that next time i will have more to say.

But it is hard because most of the time it is un interesting in which case i shut them out...anyway there is a bit of advice in there if it works for you