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18 years with anorexia and bulimia

J

JamFRUK

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 2, 2019
Messages
50
Location
London
So I just discovered this part of the board, silly me.
I originally registered a few weeks ago when I was acutely unwell and had attempted at my life.

And bulimia has been a driving reason why. It's a poison destroying my life and has been for 18 years. When I manage to get the binge purge cycle under control, I revert to what I discovered was actually anorexia, limiting meals and over exercising everyday.

It's an ordeal that none of the psych consultants I have seen during my stay at hospital have seemed to take seriously. It seems that if you are not an underweight teenagers, your eating disorder is invisible and therefore does not matter, even if your blood stats are terrible...

Right now I'm no longer trying to recover- I tried to get help but alas, there is no help.
I'm just trying to go back to restrict mode because it's less harmful to my mind, if not my body, than daily purging and self harm.

I don't know why I'm posting this to be honest. Just want to get it off my chest and if anyone struggles with ED too and wants to talk ket me know !
 
Confusedandanxious

Confusedandanxious

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
883
Location
Uk
I also find that my ED is not taken seriously. Even though it has caused me issues for the majority of my life, so at least 30 years.

As a child they just gave me fortisips, instead of actually looking into it to try and fix it. My parents were also told to just feed me whatever I want, whenever i want it to ensure that i got food in me. Which obviously, more than likely created further poor eating habits.

As a teen and into adulthood, it has been discussed and plans have been set to try and get to the root cause and correct the problem. Only nobody has ever actually stuck it out.
It's as if they acknowledge there is an issue, know it needs to be treat but then dont have a clue how to deal with it. So they just send me on my way and hope I dont ask for help again.
 
M

Mouse11

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2019
Messages
15
Location
CO
There are a lot of bad psychiatrists and therapists out there but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a bunch of good ones too! I would encourage you to keep looking until you find one that clicks - granted I know that’s easier said than done because I myself struggle with following through with that. But having struggled with ED on and off I know how serious they can be. You don’t have to be underweight to have it be life threatening and any good psychiatrist knows that... so if they don’t acknowledge that then screw them and find someone who can help because they are out there! Please don’t give up!
 
M

mcrome

Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2019
Messages
17
Location
San Francisco
I currently have EDNOS/OSFED (atypical anorexia and bulimia, but I've had other ED diagnoses/presentations before then) and I totally understand where you're coming from. When I shared my experience of being hospitalized for my ED on my Youtube channel and Facebook, I got comments from two different people saying I wasn't "even that skinny", I was "co-opting the eating disorder label", and when (the commenter) thought of an eating disorder, they thought of an 80-pound teenage girl. It really upset me and now makes me not want to be public with my ED. It makes me want to be "that skinny" so people would believe me. Even the medical doctor at the hospital I'm in currently gave me funny looks and told me "you're not malnourished anymore" implying that because I'm normal weight now, I no longer have an eating disorder, even though when I was normal weight that's when my ED was most active. It's really frustrating because I think EDs should be based on behavior, not weight (for example if someone is just binging and purging, no restricting but they're underweight, that should be bulimia instead of b/p anorexia, whereareas if someone is just restricting, that should be classified as anorexia restricting subtype, regardless of weight). Don't get me wrong, weight is very important when it comes to EDs and my doctor has told me to gain weight when I start to fall out of the healthy "range", but this is a mental illlness, not a physical one, and in truth the stereotypical severely underweight restricting only anorexic is very rare.
 
R

Rogue7

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2020
Messages
56
Location
Australia
I too have an eating disorder and I bounce between b/p and restriction. It's exhausting but I agree restriction is be
So I just discovered this part of the board, silly me.
I originally registered a few weeks ago when I was acutely unwell and had attempted at my life.

And bulimia has been a driving reason why. It's a poison destroying my life and has been for 18 years. When I manage to get the binge purge cycle under control, I revert to what I discovered was actually anorexia, limiting meals and over exercising everyday.

It's an ordeal that none of the psych consultants I have seen during my stay at hospital have seemed to take seriously. It seems that if you are not an underweight teenagers, your eating disorder is invisible and therefore does not matter, even if your blood stats are terrible...

Right now I'm no longer trying to recover- I tried to get help but alas, there is no help.
I'm just trying to go back to restrict mode because it's less harmful to my mind, if not my body, than daily purging and self harm.

I don't know why I'm posting this to be honest. Just want to get it off my chest and if anyone struggles with ED too and wants to talk ket me know !
I'm diagnosed anorexia but I get stuck in b/p cycles. It sux. And I do agree that ristricting is better than b/p for health reasons. But wouldn't eating freely be nice? Never to worry about silly stuff like calories, etc. No restriction, ED free is what I'm aiming for atm.
 
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