• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

15 "Secrets" of socially anxious people

jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
5,186
Location
Canada
I just copied these down from a video, not my own thoughts. Some of them hit home, others not as much:

1. My social anxiety is my biggest secret. I'm ashamed of it and I feel less than you because of it.

2. I feel like I'm trapped. I cannot escape this. It's consuming my thinking. It's always there.

3. I worry about becoming anxious and other people seeing it.

4. Everyone else is fine. They don't have issues. It's only me that has issues.

5. I don't know why I feel anxious. It just happens.

6. My logic can't stop my anxiety. I cannot reason myself out of anxiety.

7. I should fight my anxiety.

8. I am good at making excuses to avoid situations or people.

9. Public humiliation is my worst nightmare.

10. I may look snobby or arrogant or uninterested in people, but I'm actually just afraid to connect.

11. I worry I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life.

12. I have so much potential if only I could just beat this social anxiety.

13. We're more sensitive than others, more empathic, and we have the ability to sense how others think and feel, and this scares me.

14. While I wish it wasn't true, I crave your respect, your acceptance, and your approval.

15. It sometimes feel like no one understands me, and I am completely alone in this world.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,196
Location
US
Thanks for posting this, jajinga. Yes, I have used every excuse there is over the past few decades....and damnit if #15 isn't true.
 
B

Blues47

Active member
Joined
May 3, 2021
Messages
26
Location
USA
I like this post. Let me go through these

1. My social anxiety is my biggest secret. I'm ashamed of it and I feel less than you because of it.
It's tied with some other things for biggest secret. But yeah I fell less than pretty much everybody.

2. I feel like I'm trapped. I cannot escape this. It's consuming my thinking. It's always there.
Yes

3. I worry about becoming anxious and other people seeing it.
Hmm...not so much.

4. Everyone else is fine. They don't have issues. It's only me that has issues.

No

5. I don't know why I feel anxious. It just happens.

Lord I wish. I know exactly why I feel anxious.

6. My logic can't stop my anxiety. I cannot reason myself out of anxiety.

Yes

7. I should fight my anxiety.

I've long surrendered

8. I am good at making excuses to avoid situations or people.
Oh hell yes.

9. Public humiliation is my worst nightmare.

Not so much a nightmare than something that happens often.

10. I may look snobby or arrogant or uninterested in people, but I'm actually just afraid to connect.
Yes

11. I worry I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life.

More certain than worried.

12. I have so much potential if only I could just beat this social anxiety.
That sounds like hope...I don't have that.

13. We're more sensitive than others, more empathic, and we have the ability to sense how others think and feel, and this scares me.

Yes

14. While I wish it wasn't true, I crave your respect, your acceptance, and your approval.

Yeah but I know from experience it's pretty thin ice.

15. It sometimes feel like no one understands me, and I am completely alone in this world.

More than sometimes.
 
Empish

Empish

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 7, 2021
Messages
220
Location
Uk
This should be essential reading for anyone who has just started suffering from anxiety.
I had been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks for two years before I learnt there was actually a name for it and other people also experienced it. Nobody spoke about it 30 years ago.
Thankfully that's changed.
 
Karmaman

Karmaman

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2021
Messages
729
Location
North West
I feel all of these except 14. I don't really crave respect, acceptance and approval. All the others I can understand; Being this way has certainly overwhelmed my life.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,196
Location
US
This should be essential reading for anyone who has just started suffering from anxiety.
I had been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks for two years before I learnt there was actually a name for it and other people also experienced it. Nobody spoke about it 30 years ago.
Thankfully that's changed.
Exactly. I remember literally thinking I was the only person in the world feeling this way back in the 80s and 90s. I'm sure even forums like this have saved a lot of lives.
 
Empish

Empish

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 7, 2021
Messages
220
Location
Uk
I'm sure even forums like this have saved a lot of lives.
No doubt. I think it's also great that celebrities, rock stars and actors are being open about their problems with mental health.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,196
Location
US
No doubt. I think it's also great that celebrities, rock stars and actors are being open about their problems with mental health.
Soooo true. So much has become more acceptable and open to talk about. I remember in high school being terrified someone would even hear I was seeing a therapist. Thank God for some progress...
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
5,186
Location
Canada
I just copied these down from a video, not my own thoughts. Some of them hit home, others not as much:

1. My social anxiety is my biggest secret. I'm ashamed of it and I feel less than you because of it.

Yeah, sort of. Not a huge secret and don't really feel inferior to anybody.


2. I feel like I'm trapped. I cannot escape this. It's consuming my thinking. It's always there.

Not always there, just a longstanding issue that's cost me some opportunities, caused some regrets

3. I worry about becoming anxious and other people seeing it.

Not really. Don't think it is noticeable to others.

4. Everyone else is fine. They don't have issues. It's only me that has issues.

Absolutely false. People have problems, many worse than mine.

5. I don't know why I feel anxious. It just happens.

Sort of. Mine got worse after coming back to my hometown and living with family again.

6. My logic can't stop my anxiety. I cannot reason myself out of anxiety.

I agree. If logic could do that we would not be nearly as anxious.

7. I should fight my anxiety.

Trying to learn to accept it. "What you resist persists" as Jung said

8. I am good at making excuses to avoid situations or people.

Don't even need excuses these days. Just have a routine that doesn't take me out of my comfort zone.

9. Public humiliation is my worst nightmare.

Yeah, don't like feeling embarrassed.

10. I may look snobby or arrogant or uninterested in people, but I'm actually just afraid to connect.

I'm sure I've appeared aloof, standoffish, unfriendly and unapproachable even, at times

11. I worry I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life.

Yes, because it's been with me for so long and feels so familiar and like nearly impossible to be free of

12. I have so much potential if only I could just beat this social anxiety.

I believe this. Think I could have done much better without these fears and inhibitions

13. We're more sensitive than others, more empathic, and we have the ability to sense how others think and feel, and this scares me.

Probably. I have lots of empathy. Doesn't scare me though.

14. While I wish it wasn't true, I crave your respect, your acceptance, and your approval.

Somewhat true, sometimes. Probably because I didn't get that from my father growing up?

15. It sometimes feel like no one understands me, and I am completely alone in this world.

Not sure. I'm aware this is a common emotional problem, but then it also isn't so easy to detect. You'd really need to know someone well and be attentive to notice it, I think. Otherwise we just call it shyness or low confidence or such. It involves those, but really is something else also.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
R

Roxylox

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2021
Messages
56
Location
Ireland
I just copied these down from a video, not my own thoughts. Some of them hit home, others not as much:

1. My social anxiety is my biggest secret. I'm ashamed of it and I feel less than you because of it.

2. I feel like I'm trapped. I cannot escape this. It's consuming my thinking. It's always there.

3. I worry about becoming anxious and other people seeing it.

4. Everyone else is fine. They don't have issues. It's only me that has issues.

5. I don't know why I feel anxious. It just happens.

6. My logic can't stop my anxiety. I cannot reason myself out of anxiety.

7. I should fight my anxiety.

8. I am good at making excuses to avoid situations or people.

9. Public humiliation is my worst nightmare.

10. I may look snobby or arrogant or uninterested in people, but I'm actually just afraid to connect.

11. I worry I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life.

12. I have so much potential if only I could just beat this social anxiety.

13. We're more sensitive than others, more empathic, and we have the ability to sense how others think and feel, and this scares me.

14. While I wish it wasn't true, I crave your respect, your acceptance, and your approval.

15. It sometimes feel like no one understands me, and I am completely alone in this world.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
R

Roxylox

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2021
Messages
56
Location
Ireland
Lots of these do resonate with me. Empathy, sensitivity, feeling misunderstood
 

Similar threads

Top