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15 minutes of fame Thought broadcasting

B

Baztion

Active member
Joined
Nov 8, 2019
Messages
25
Location
united states
Similar to tv girl, I believe I'm being watched. Like I'm some sort of momentary celebrity, even though I'd make for a terrible star. I'm not a good person. I'm a pretty terrible guy. Hell-bound probably. And I feel like the entire world is keeping me in the dark while reading my mind at my most vulnerable and naked. I can't protect myself, I don't have any psychic shields to protect my mind or my point of view. I honestly feel like this is revenge or something. Everyone is laughing at me. I'm mentally handicapped and struggling to adapt to everyone else's speed. Everyone is more intelligent and faster than me. I'm at the the top of everybody's totem pole. Even now as I type this, the parents of mine that were laughing at my every action from the next room stopped. It's like they want these lines out of me. They enjoy mocking me from just outside of my awareness, from the shadows of ambiguity to gaslight me and drive me crazy. Maybe as revenge. My stepdad is doing it because hes carrying a grudge for all of our fights over the years and my mom is doing it because shes also carrying a grudge. This is like that trope, What You Are in the Dark, I feel like my 15 minutes is me in the dark stumbling around like the fool I've always been. No one can trust me.

I'm starting to lose my mind. I really think I'm going mad. I feel like I'm in a simulation that only simulates what I'm looking at, draws from my thoughts, and produces people from out of thin air right outside of my field of vision. It's probably the same reason why I fear doors and opening them: because there's nothing on the other side of them until I see it. Just the void. I feel like my subconscious or right brain is my own enemy. Actually I feel like my subconscious and right brain are the heroes of the story and I'm just the villainous ID thot.

I feel like I'm surrounded by psychics, however they got their powers who knows, and they keep flexing on me that I suck and speaking like about me with what they've gained reading my mind like an audience intentionally for me to hear, like the biblical david and the arrows. I feel like I'm Jerome from Martin and everyone's working day and night to keep me stupid and uninformed. I dont know how to make waves, I'm a simple man. Very, very simple.

I guess my question is, does anyone else feel the same way, going through something similar.

And my biggest request, can we form a group or something? do you guys know any groups? Will I ever be invited anywhere?

Thanks guys.
 
EdEd

EdEd

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2019
Messages
401
Location
USA
Dude , I felt the same way at first. No one is laughing at you. You have more power than you think..
 
JustMe1982

JustMe1982

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
191
Location
Here
Meh. Fame is lame. They can shove their 15.
 
M

Mikayyla

Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
5
Location
California
I can relate. Thought broadcasting is real. I've learned the same thing and "the truth" goes beyond just thought broadcasting. Those that hear your thoughts can also control you. And what's most painful is that my family and friends are in on it. I am in a horror movie and there's no escape except suicide.
 
collectingfeathers

collectingfeathers

Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
20
Location
FL
I would get dressed up in the most ridiculous outfits (old music festival gear, crazy patterns lots of neon colors and sequins) I had these crazy looking sunglasses too, and hit the streets and legitimately felt like a camera was following me and I was making some kind of wild statement. The thing is, looking back at it now I realize it was all a figment of my imagination. Pure boredom and self absorption in a sense..it wasn’t until I started going to AA meetings that I realized there’s a bigger picture to life, everyone has their own problems and while sure some people watch reality tv - I wasn’t it. I wasn’t getting a paycheck, there was no camera crew. The helicopter flying overhead wasn’t streaming my footage. I never signed a contract or consent form. And that’s what it boils down to..I had to start asking myself these questions. Or just asking questions in general. I would often think people were saying things about me or laughing at me and I would say “What does that mean?” Or “I want to laugh too, what happened?” And 10/10 times it had nothing to do with me. The best advice I got during my delusions was from a friend that, bless his soul, stuck by my side and tried to understand what I was going through as much as he could. That advice was: ask more questions. We get caught up assuming and perpetuating our behavior and can lead to a downward spiral of embarrassment/disappointment/etc...
Signed, the girl that threw away all of her belongings in the trash because she thought her life was a con
 
B

Baztion

Active member
Joined
Nov 8, 2019
Messages
25
Location
united states
I can relate. Thought broadcasting is real. I've learned the same thing and "the truth" goes beyond just thought broadcasting. Those that hear your thoughts can also control you. And what's most painful is that my family and friends are in on it. I am in a horror movie and there's no escape except suicide.
I don't know about suicide. If things can get worse on the other side they probably will. Maybe the suffering is for a higher purpose, one I can't see in the limited perception of everything I know. I don't know. Don't kill yourself.
 
collectingfeathers

collectingfeathers

Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
20
Location
FL
I can relate. Thought broadcasting is real. I've learned the same thing and "the truth" goes beyond just thought broadcasting. Those that hear your thoughts can also control you. And what's most painful is that my family and friends are in on it. I am in a horror movie and there's no escape except suicide.
I can relate. Thought broadcasting is real. I've learned the same thing and "the truth" goes beyond just thought broadcasting. Those that hear your thoughts can also control you. And what's most painful is that my family and friends are in on it. I am in a horror movie and there's no escape except suicide.
I don’t want to say that you are wrong but I can definitely say that suicide is not the escape and there are resources available if you truly feel that way, please call a hotline anonymously and ask some questions. The best advice I can give you is that if someone can really read your mind, how beautiful it is that we can change it at any given second. We’re given life to live freely and creatively. Paint your horror story, write it down. Express yourself and release this energy. When it’s tangible and you can look back on it sometimes you realize what you thought or did previously was not accurate..best to you!
 
JustMe1982

JustMe1982

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
191
Location
Here
I would get dressed up in the most ridiculous outfits (old music festival gear, crazy patterns lots of neon colors and sequins) I had these crazy looking sunglasses too, and hit the streets and legitimately felt like a camera was following me and I was making some kind of wild statement. The thing is, looking back at it now I realize it was all a figment of my imagination. Pure boredom and self absorption in a sense..it wasn’t until I started going to AA meetings that I realized there’s a bigger picture to life, everyone has their own problems and while sure some people watch reality tv - I wasn’t it. I wasn’t getting a paycheck, there was no camera crew. The helicopter flying overhead wasn’t streaming my footage. I never signed a contract or consent form. And that’s what it boils down to..I had to start asking myself these questions. Or just asking questions in general. I would often think people were saying things about me or laughing at me and I would say “What does that mean?” Or “I want to laugh too, what happened?” And 10/10 times it had nothing to do with me. The best advice I got during my delusions was from a friend that, bless his soul, stuck by my side and tried to understand what I was going through as much as he could. That advice was: ask more questions. We get caught up assuming and perpetuating our behavior and can lead to a downward spiral of embarrassment/disappointment/etc...
Signed, the girl that threw away all of her belongings in the trash because she thought her life was a con
Glad to know it wasn't just me that threw all their shit away. Didn't make me feel better like I had hoped.
 
M

Mikayyla

Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
5
Location
California
Oh and another thing beside the thought broadcasting and control. Those same people can astrally project, which is why you're feeling watched.
 
collectingfeathers

collectingfeathers

Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
20
Location
FL
Similar to tv girl, I believe I'm being watched. Like I'm some sort of momentary celebrity, even though I'd make for a terrible star. I'm not a good person. I'm a pretty terrible guy. Hell-bound probably. And I feel like the entire world is keeping me in the dark while reading my mind at my most vulnerable and naked. I can't protect myself, I don't have any psychic shields to protect my mind or my point of view. I honestly feel like this is revenge or something. Everyone is laughing at me. I'm mentally handicapped and struggling to adapt to everyone else's speed. Everyone is more intelligent and faster than me. I'm at the the top of everybody's totem pole. Even now as I type this, the parents of mine that were laughing at my every action from the next room stopped. It's like they want these lines out of me. They enjoy mocking me from just outside of my awareness, from the shadows of ambiguity to gaslight me and drive me crazy. Maybe as revenge. My stepdad is doing it because hes carrying a grudge for all of our fights over the years and my mom is doing it because shes also carrying a grudge. This is like that trope, What You Are in the Dark, I feel like my 15 minutes is me in the dark stumbling around like the fool I've always been. No one can trust me.

I'm starting to lose my mind. I really think I'm going mad. I feel like I'm in a simulation that only simulates what I'm looking at, draws from my thoughts, and produces people from out of thin air right outside of my field of vision. It's probably the same reason why I fear doors and opening them: because there's nothing on the other side of them until I see it. Just the void. I feel like my subconscious or right brain is my own enemy. Actually I feel like my subconscious and right brain are the heroes of the story and I'm just the villainous ID thot.

I feel like I'm surrounded by psychics, however they got their powers who knows, and they keep flexing on me that I suck and speaking like about me with what they've gained reading my mind like an audience intentionally for me to hear, like the biblical david and the arrows. I feel like I'm Jerome from Martin and everyone's working day and night to keep me stupid and uninformed. I dont know how to make waves, I'm a simple man. Very, very simple.

I guess my question is, does anyone else feel the same way, going through something similar.

And my biggest request, can we form a group or something? do you guys know any groups? Will I ever be invited anywhere?

Thanks guys.
i went to an SA meeting at the local club near my house because I thought it stood for schizophrenics anonymous and it was a men’s only sexaholic anonymous group. Still can’t find a group other than here :) and you are invited!
 
JustMe1982

JustMe1982

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
191
Location
Here
i went to an SA meeting at the local club near my house because I thought it stood for schizophrenics anonymous and it was a men’s only sexaholic anonymous group. Still can’t find a group other than here :) and you are invited!
That's hilarious. I bet your followers loved that at least. ;)
 
CarryTheFlame

CarryTheFlame

Active member
Joined
Dec 25, 2019
Messages
29
Location
Norfolk, UK
Dude, just remember: none of it is true.

It's all in your head. Reality is in fact objective- you have no enemies nor any real reason to be anxious.

If you can, flatten these thoughts- they do you virtually no good. Try to think about the positives- what's going good and/or what you're thankful for.

If that's impossible, try to remain neutral- no thoughts, & try to keep your mind occupied with TV, reading, gaming, socialising etc...

You can do this. Stay strong, stay brave.
 
B

Baztion

Active member
Joined
Nov 8, 2019
Messages
25
Location
united states
B

Baztion

Active member
Joined
Nov 8, 2019
Messages
25
Location
united states
Do you have more power over your situation now?
Man, I'm so slow, I wouldn't know power if...I were the only dude in the simulation. I wouldn't be cognizant of my power or the privilege I get with that power. Just the way it is with me.
 
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