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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

12/01/2021

B

benji000

New member
Joined
Dec 20, 2020
Messages
2
Location
London
There are so many levels to the way I feel at the moment - anxious, stressed, I constantly have a frown on my face - uni work isn’t getting any better, I still feel like I’m in a loop of feeling like I’ve accomplished all of the work, for them to throw more my way. That’s the same with everyone so that’s not a big deal. I was having a conversation with one of my closest friends the other night, and we were both talking about how shit life is at the moment. They hadn’t ever really opened up to me before, even though we’ve known each other for almost 10 years, but that’s not the type of person they are. They were telling me things, emotions they’d been feeling, how even after all of the help they’d received (professionals, speaking to others, medication), still felt shit. Some of the things they said really hit home to me, because I had been feeling the same way, but didn’t know how to put it into words, or speak it into reality. I mentioned it before but being self-conscious and not feeling like I’m worth much plagues my head. I’m constantly trying to better myself, make myself look good, be happy with my appearance, but I can’t help but feel such extreme negative emotions towards myself. In this conversation, we were talking about how dating apps, or just simply chatting to new people (like at uni) only demoralises the both of us; the only way we saw it was that we weren’t ever ‘good enough’ to be talking to these people, that we were boring/not attractive etc. As bad as it sounds, it was nice hearing someone have the same problems as me, that it wasn’t just my weird brain playing tricks on me. We both shared stories and experiences of having our self-esteem destroyed in front of our eyes, by our lack off confidence. As much as it may not seem like it, I would consider myself to be an introvert. Yeah, sometimes I’m just happy to have left my house so I act excitable, or have had alcohol/drugs which help to forget about the shit stuff and just have a good time. What people don’t seem to understand is the quiet, self-conscious side of me, which weirdly annoys people whenever I act like it in front of them. I have countless examples of times where I’ve gone quiet in social situations because I’m just deeping everything in my head, hating myself, and people act weird about it, saying I’m grumpy and ‘always acting moody’, chatting shit about the way I’m acting behind my back. I get it, mood changes can dampen a situation, and I get it can be annoying sometimes, but without knowing what’s going on inside my head, chatting shit about it really isn’t the best way for me to feel better about it all. I really did value the conversation I had that night; letting each other speak about our emotions, both getting shit off our chest, sharing similar experiences, definitely helped me to realise that these issues are real, and not just some shit in my head. During this lockdown, I have had no distractions, no ways of realising steam. The longer I’m stuck inside with my feelings, the worse it’s going to get.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
5,537
Location
England
You must be a good friend and listened for them to have confused in you.

Do you go out for a walk every morning? It is so important
 
G

gwenie_3

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2021
Messages
2
Location
x
Hi,

you’ve made some big steps - talking and trusting in a close friend is very important and going through the same sorts of feelings can help u process how ur feeling in ur head and can overtime make it easier to deal with things - but no rush.

lockdown is very hard on everyone but especially so on some people make sure u take time to go outside on a walk or running if u can fresh air can do wonders and if u don’t have any take up some hobbies - absolutely anything try something new as a break from your everyday stresses or if u have hobbies already make sure u use them as self care, relaxing time.

always believe in yourself and why you’re doing your work - what are your aims and think about how badly you want to do well - prove to everyone how strong and incredible you are and keep telling yourself these goals and make sure to celebrate your achievements

keep fighting you've got this :)
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
735
There are so many levels to the way I feel at the moment - anxious, stressed, I constantly have a frown on my face - uni work isn’t getting any better, I still feel like I’m in a loop of feeling like I’ve accomplished all of the work, for them to throw more my way. That’s the same with everyone so that’s not a big deal. I was having a conversation with one of my closest friends the other night, and we were both talking about how shit life is at the moment. They hadn’t ever really opened up to me before, even though we’ve known each other for almost 10 years, but that’s not the type of person they are. They were telling me things, emotions they’d been feeling, how even after all of the help they’d received (professionals, speaking to others, medication), still felt shit. Some of the things they said really hit home to me, because I had been feeling the same way, but didn’t know how to put it into words, or speak it into reality. I mentioned it before but being self-conscious and not feeling like I’m worth much plagues my head. I’m constantly trying to better myself, make myself look good, be happy with my appearance, but I can’t help but feel such extreme negative emotions towards myself. In this conversation, we were talking about how dating apps, or just simply chatting to new people (like at uni) only demoralises the both of us; the only way we saw it was that we weren’t ever ‘good enough’ to be talking to these people, that we were boring/not attractive etc. As bad as it sounds, it was nice hearing someone have the same problems as me, that it wasn’t just my weird brain playing tricks on me. We both shared stories and experiences of having our self-esteem destroyed in front of our eyes, by our lack off confidence. As much as it may not seem like it, I would consider myself to be an introvert. Yeah, sometimes I’m just happy to have left my house so I act excitable, or have had alcohol/drugs which help to forget about the shit stuff and just have a good time. What people don’t seem to understand is the quiet, self-conscious side of me, which weirdly annoys people whenever I act like it in front of them. I have countless examples of times where I’ve gone quiet in social situations because I’m just deeping everything in my head, hating myself, and people act weird about it, saying I’m grumpy and ‘always acting moody’, chatting shit about the way I’m acting behind my back. I get it, mood changes can dampen a situation, and I get it can be annoying sometimes, but without knowing what’s going on inside my head, chatting shit about it really isn’t the best way for me to feel better about it all. I really did value the conversation I had that night; letting each other speak about our emotions, both getting shit off our chest, sharing similar experiences, definitely helped me to realise that these issues are real, and not just some shit in my head. During this lockdown, I have had no distractions, no ways of realising steam. The longer I’m stuck inside with my feelings, the worse it’s going to get.
uni was a very isolating experience for me....i was unable to mix.....some people bullied me but looking back i would have advised myself to join self help groups in the campus or else in town....people would have been understanding there....i go to self help groups now whcih help me....its good that you were able to talk so openly to your friend,....that is a valuable experience
 
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