10 days in mental hospital, feeling blue after release

D

DillonTheVillain

Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2018
Messages
5
#1
A little background:

I'm a 25 year old male living in the midwest of the United States. Due to what I now know are delusions I have isolated myself since I was 15 years old. I haven't had a single friend since I was 14 and have only left my home 4 times in the last 8 years. I haven't spoken a single word to my parents in 3 and a half years though I still live with them.

Two weeks ago I nearly acted on suicidal urges and was driven to the ER by my mom, where I was placed on a 72-hour hold at a psych hospital about an hour away from my home. Due to it being a holiday, the laws in my area regarding weekends and holidays, and being placed on new meds, 72 hours turned in to 10 days.

What was one of the worst days of my life ended up turning in to the best week and a half of my life. I was talking to people like I used to. I made friends. I was complimented time and time again on my appearance. I felt like a normal human being.

A teenage girl I got close to even woke up early to spend the morning with me before I was discharged on Thursday morning. We've all been teenagers and we all know how much effort it takes for one to wake up early, so that meant a lot! :p

She left me a beautiful note stating that she was glad to meet me, that I made a huge impact on her recovery and that she'll miss me. I have been looking over this note multiple times a day and either laughing or crying depending on my mood. I never thought that anybody would be grateful to have met me. I never thought that anybody would miss me if I were gone. Most important of all, she signed it with "Love, (name)" and I never in a million years thought that I was worthy of being loved.

This note is my biggest motivator. I have made what I consider to be huge strides even though I know that it's a long road ahead and baby steps will get me there all the same. Yesterday I applied for my first ever state ID. I've learned to cook 4 dishes in the last 2 days when I could barely microwave a Hot Pocket before I was committed. I did my first load of laundry two days ago. I've been exercising an hour a day and walking at least as much.

Still I feel blue for a good chunk of the time. I find myself missing being "locked up." I wonder what my fellow patients are doing in group therapy. I wonder what's being served for lunch. I wonder if the teenage girls I hung out with are staying out of trouble. I wonder if my friends have found somebody else they can open up to or if they're feeling as lost as I am.

The ground is packed with snow and ice and the cold is enough to chill your bones so there isn't much to do socially outside. I have my first meeting with a social worker set up for Monday and will hopefully get an idea of where to go to find support in my area.

In the meantime I thought it would be helpful to sign up here just to get my feelings written down where others can see them and hopefully get some feedback from people who have been in a similar boat.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,197
Location
basketville
#2
Hello Dillon sounds to me that it would be better if you could move out from your parents and maybe get out more.

I would really encourage you to at least start getting out more and meeting people. Have a look on the net and see what is going on in your area.

Really sorry that you have shut yourself away and this short excursion away from your parents must tell you something. You sound like a really nice pers0n so what is not to like about you!!! and the world needs nice folk
 
D

DillonTheVillain

Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2018
Messages
5
#3
Hello Dillon sounds to me that it would be better if you could move out from your parents and maybe get out more.

I would really encourage you to at least start getting out more and meeting people. Have a look on the net and see what is going on in your area.

[shortened for space]
Thanks for the kind words. That's actually my biggest short-term goal. There are some apartments just down the road and I'm hoping to get set up in one in the next 6 months or so. My parents are willing to help pay for it but I'd like to get a steady income first.

I appreciate it.

I've had a rough couple of days just moping around and sleeping all the time but I'm feeling more optimistic this morning. I had a meeting with a social worker yesterday. There are a few groups in my area that meet weekly so I'm looking to get set up with some of those. I live in a very small town and don't know how to drive so it isn't exactly easy to meet new people this time of year. Still waiting to get word on the specifics of these group meetings so I can get started.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,197
Location
basketville
#4
sometimes there is community transport or what about the bus. you might have a 10 min walk to the nearest one...also on the net there would be a time table of all the buses in your area
 

Similar threads